Friday, December 28, 2007

Flight 96

I am on vacation. I guess you guys would be wondering about these vacations I take at the drop of a hat. I have a contract job so anytime I get fed up with things, I just drop everything and take a breather. In 2006 I worked non-stop for nine months before i took a vacation for one week. I didnt really enjoy myself because I was too tired to stay awake and tour the great city of New York. The only meaningful thing I did was to go on Broadway and watch The Producers, a great experience indeed. Ok, then went to the street mall at Furdham and spent all my life savings shopping for my nieces and nephew.My sisters were amazed but guess what, I didnt buy a single item for them. They didnt find that funny though.
I decided to travel on Christmas morning to the East Coast. I didnt wanna go through the hassels of organizing christmas lunches and dinners for the entire family so I bailed out, wanting to go where I would be a guest not the glorified caterer and maid rolled into one.

The airport was quiet and for a moment I thought the planes were grounded because of the weather. We boarded and took off on time. Half an hour into the flight, the Captain's voice came out loud and clear over the speakers informing us that we should remain seated at least for the next one hundred miles because there was gonna be so much turbulence. God knows I hate flying already, then this??? I tried to dose off to no avail. I increased the volume of the country music I was listening to, trying to block out the sounds made by the engines of the aircraft or better still block out the fact that I was thousands of miles above ground. Then it started. The shaking, the trembling and the slight dives.I was terrified.

I have a habit of studying the flight attendants. By their faces ye shall know your fate.I was really praying for mercy when I looked up and sighted one of the flight attendants walking down the aisle holding the compartments railing for support, shook her head sadly at her colleague at the end of the aisle. Now what was that???? Apparently I wasnt the only one who saw that gesture because a man suddenly shouted from behind me.
'' What the hell is going on'? The lady stopped short.
''Nothing' she said.
''Nothing my ass. I need to know what the hell is going on with this plane. A man gotta know if he's gonna die'' he shouted angrily. Passengers started getting excited and the flight attendant quickly made her way to the back of the aircraft. Kids started getting restless, people started getting up.

An elderly man got up and spoke in gentle tones telling everybody to be calm. Another guy got up, he had the longest ponytail I had ever seen on a man and he looked like a tatoo shop.
''Who the fuck do you think you are old man?'' he screamed. 'Do you think I wanna die? I wanna know what the fuck is wrong with this plane''
''Will you guys stop it? a lady with a screaming baby cried out over the bedlam.
People started cursing the airline and the twenty-something-year-olds planes they make people buy expensive tickets for. The flight attendants looked on. The frigging plane was still shaking and trembling.
''There is nothing wrong with the plane, its the weather''
''Fuck the weather''
''what kind of fucked up flight is this?

I knew it was the weather but I was too paralysed with fear to think straight. My whole body was trembling expecting the plane to nose dive any minute. There and then I knew I love life. I wanted to live and It was that thought that gave me strenght and focus to pray.
'' Father Lord, please have mercy. Have mercy on me. Please do not let me regret this trip. Father today is christmas and I can not die on a christmas day. Everybody in my family will go crazy if anything should happen to me, I plead the blood of Jesus on my body,my spirit and my soul''
I raised my voice as my trembling reduced. I could feel people turning to look at me. I prayed very loud and I could feel them going back to their seats one by one.In a short time, the passengers were all quiet. I prayed non-stop till we landed.

When I got to baggage claim, I sat down for half an hour before getting my bags. My legs were shaking so badly I could hardly walk. That flight was indeed fucked up. I thank God that we landed safely.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Heavenly Blessings

Today was hectic. The weather was crazy, flunctuating between roasting everyone alive and turning people into cold slabs of meat. I never listen to the weather news anymore. The Almighty is not predictable neither is the weather he created for us mere mortals.The saying that goes'' We are nothing but pencil in the hands........,'' gets drummed into my head each time I step out of the house and look up into the skies. Texas weather is bloody unpredictable.

Mere mortals so are we. Mere mortals with propositions. The Almighty has given us the power of choice so they say but wouldnt it be great if we could walk up to that majestic throne and find out exactly what is expected of us in this crazy world.

Search......I keep searching for peace. Is it what I have to buy or seek for? Is it free or I have to spend money to get it? I really do not know. Loneliness has become a way of life. Boredom, a daily activity.
Work......I keep working for money. Yet, I am not fulfilled if I do not reach out to people around me.Some call me generous, some say I am wasteful but what is money if there is no joy? What are the riches if there is no one to share them with?

The way my heart is! Riches untapped. Riches untamed. So much wealth to give.So much love to offer.

As each day passes by, I look towards the Almighty's abode praying for His reaching hands. My heart is revealed and my hands are strechted out to receive His heavenly fruits.

I want a baby!!!

Friday, December 7, 2007

Lift To The Stars

I stalked out through the automatic doors, giving my boss a baleful look one more time. How we were going to round up sales before the tax season beat me. She was making everybody's life miserable. I grinned when I remembered how stunned she was when I announced I needed a smoke break. She knew I was not a smoker but she could kiss my ass. I marched quickly towards the elevators casting wary glances behind me. I did not want any of my colleagues to tag along. They were sure to ruin the air with nicotine.

I was tired, hungry and sleepy. I stepped into the elevator and as luck would have it, I saw nobody in need of a smoke break rushing to ride the elevator with me. I punched the basement button. I needed a nap badly and the best place to have it would be inside Sandra, my loyal Honda Accord.The elevator moved down from the ninth floor sluggishly. I frowned, now what the heck was wrong with this thing. It gave a jerk,lurched and came to an abrupt stop. No, No, Heck NO!! I waited two minutes, nothing.I punched the emergency buttons, praying with all my heart that those bloody leering security guards were paying attention, not off somewhere playing dominoes.

Five minutes, then the elevator gave a jerk and plunged!!! I screamed grabbing the railing in terror. Ohmigod!!!I never planned on ending my life like this; plummenting from the ninth floor of a thirty year old building in a demented elevator. I was sure the bloody thing hadnt given nobody warning signs. Why me???!!!! I held on for dear life expecting the crash in a second but it suddenly lurched to a stop and I landed on my back with my legs up in the air.My Boss is a Witch!!!! It trembled like a wet chicken then moved before coming to a rest. I peeked at the buttons.''G'' for Garage!! I scrambled up, punched the exit buttons in a frenzy. The doors swooshed open and I flew out, smack into a wall. My world reeled and I landed on my ass.

''Damn.Please pay attention,'' came the growl from somewhere above me. My eyes travelled from alligator shodded feet to blazing dark eyes underneath some bushy brows.
Now what a minute, I was supposed to be mad here. I got to my feet, thanking the Lord I had on some leather pants. What would have happened if I was in some nice short skirt? Mr Alligator Shoes would have had an unrestricted view of the solo grass plantation because I never wear knickers until that time of the month when my biological clock tick to remind me of my spinsterhood state.

I watched him as he strode into the death trap. He gave me another ''my cat wouldnt bother with you'' look before the elevators doors closed. I waited patiently. It wasnt long before I heard the screams and who ran out half crazed with fear? Mr Alligator Shoes!! I gave him a huge witchy grin before catwalking to Sandra. Good Ol Gal was waiting for me. I snuggled deep into the reclined seat as that naughty thought registered in my mind. That was one piece of delicious male flesh. All lean and hard. Dark smoky eyes, shaggy eyebrows and a height to die for. All arrogance and self-confidence.

I went back to the building half an hour later. I was alert after that much needed nap and I gave that elevator a wide berth, going to the front of the building to use the service elevator.I gave the security guy a nasty look before walking to the elevator.My butt still hurt.I punched the button and waited. The doors opened and I stepped inside only to come short a step. There, leaning against the wall was Mr Alligator Shoes. I waited, expecting him to get his butt off but he made no move towards the doors. I punched 9 and the doors closed. I felt uncomfortable immediately. All my senses rose into sharp focus and I could feel my pulse racing off. His scent enveloped me and the hair at the back of my neck rose sharply.My heart nearly stopped when he came to stand directly behind me.

His breath fanned the back of my neck and hot fingers of desire and lust raced down my spine.His arms snaked around my waist and turned me to face him. When he looked down into my eys, I got lost in the dark hot pools of his eyes. Then our lips met, tentatively then hungrily. We kissed like crazy, both of us exploring each other deeply. His breath tasted sweetly of expensive tobacco and I went all giddy on it. We were alone in our world, our strange world of lust and desire.

We were brought down to earth abruptly by some noise. It came from my boss clearing her throat, looking into the elevator with disapproving eyes.We were already at the ninth floor. I tore myself away from the stranger's arms and escaped. Now what on earth happened back there? I dared not look back. I raced into the office all breathless. My colleagues gave me concerned looks but I ignored them and rushed into the rest room. I stared in shock at my reflection. My lips were tenderly swollen, my hair was tussled and the first button on my shirt was opened revealing a red lacy cup. DANM!!

I avoided my boss throughtout the day. I kept smiling to myself and my best friend finally gave me the finger at the end of the day.

Friday, November 30, 2007

My Boo

I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour, scrubbing and scrubbing away. My sister was knocking hard on the door, yelling at me to get out of there.I simply ignored her. It was common practise that we all took a shower each night before going to bed, so what was her problem? Well, I was not going to jump into bed after the shower because I had plans for the night.I heaved a sigh of relief when my skin tingled. I was as clean as a whistle. I just had to get rid of the day sweat. It had been a long day.

I came out of the bathroom and managed to escape my sister's scornful look.It was none of her business. Fine, I took too long but I needed to be all clean and sweet swelling. I had a date with my Boo.I looked through my closet and nothing of interest caught my eyes, then I went towards my mum's room. There was sure to be something pretty and significant there. It took me just two minutes to find it. Whao!!! It was the white Fulani attire that my aunt had brought for us from Sokoto. The multicolored blouse was just perfect with the white woolen wrapper. The blouse was short, midriff lenght and the wrapper was long, though low riding on the hips. It was perfect for my outing.

I dusted my mum's talcum powder all over and wore the Fulani get-up. My aunt had taught us how to tie the wrapper on her last visit.I glanced at myself in the mirror and grinned. He would be knocked off his rockers. I grabbed a string of beads and wound it around my head. Another one went around my neck. There was something missing. Oh Ok! Make-Up!! I did a little magic and there I was, fully made up like a Fulani chick. I wish I had a calabash, that would complete the picture.

I catwalked into the living room in my flat Fulani slippers.Pa had some guests and they were engrossed in whatever they were discussing. I announced to Pa that I was going out but he paid me no mind so I shrugged, turned sharply and headed towards the front door. Something must have registered at the last minute because he suddenly called my name.I stopped, I was just about to close the doors behind me. I heaved a long-suffering sigh.

I walked towards him and all conversations stopped abruptly.
'' Now where in the world are you going, young lady'' Pa asked.
''....but I told you before'' I started but stopped at his frown. I rolled my eyes.
'' I am going to see my boyfriend'' I announced again, making sure to raise my voice this time.
Pa looked astounded and one of the gentlemen roared with laughter and I rolled my eyes at him. Hiss. What was the big deal about that? I glanced at Pa, he was smiling. He nodded and I turned and catwalked out. I paused when I heard the laughter. Surely they were not laughing at me?

I walked towards Boo's house. He lived just down the street. His mum was outside, rocking a baby. I greeted her and asked for Boo.She called him. My heart raced when I saw his lovely face again. It had just been hours that we last saw each other but to me it felt like days. Boo came to an abrupt halt when he saw me,then he turned and hightailed it away like I was the plague or the ten commandments. Like I was a masquerade or something.Tears pooled in my eyes but I was not going to give up without a fight. I wiped my face clean of the tears, then I started yelling so loud the baby threw a fit.

''Boo, whether you like it or not, I am your girlfriend. If you like, run away, do you hear? I told you this morning and I am telling you right now. I will tell you tomorrow o ehn ehn. You better listen now o. I will tell everybody o, okay.''

I didnt even bother to talk to his mum, I just walked back to my house with tears streaming down my face. Pa was still right where I left him and his friends. He stopped talking when he saw how upset I was.
'' what happened?'' he demanded
''Boo ran away'' I explained between hiccups. Everybody went ''Aaaaaaawwwwwwwwww''
''Dont mind him, Princess. He was just scared. He will apologise tomorrow.You will see'' Pa assured me. I nodded and went to my parents' room then the laughter started again. Now what in the world was so funny?

My mind drifted as I planned on making Boo crawl on his knees tomorrow at the kindegarten school. Why in the world was he scared of me? He was older than me if anything, taller and quite bigger. He was six years old and I was just crawling up to five. maybe all I needed to do now was to kiss him when we get to the playing pen. That would scare all the other girls away. I loved Boo with all my heart and I had told my kindergarten teacher as much. He was mine and I had every intention to posses him. Tomorrow, I would go and play with his baby sister. Or did he want me to be five or six years old before letting the world know of our love? Why was Pa's friend laughing like that? Was it my fulani dress or my beads? Neways I was looking forward to seeing Boo tomorrow.

Monday, November 26, 2007


Miracle don happen!!!! LOL.

I woke up two days ago feeling like I was floating on a cushion of light textured clouds. I enforced a one week vacation on my honourable self two weeks ago. The holy book became a constant companion in my sojourn to find the real me. I was like a dry fountain thirsty for the dancing rivers. My heart was opened, my mind was laid bare and I was able to dance to the rhythm of my ancestors.

I wouldnt call it the bata beat because that would indicate the herald of Shango, the thunder king and I am a great respecter of tradition. That would be taking it too far. It was an ancient rhythm, one I have longed for, for months. The call of nature, my wildest dream.

I woke up feeling strange. my body was relaxed, my mind was clear and I could almost hear my heart ticking away. I paused, not sure if I had woken up in my own body. I looked around and it was that curvaceous body. It was Yayi's body. I threw my head back and laughed. It was a sound that would make heavenly maidens dance in their mothers' wombs. It was a laughter filled with a woman's confidence.

I could feel the butterflies!!!! They floated in hundreds, cold yet hot.

I answerd to the call of nature for in my belly was a fierce passion yearning for be fulfilled.

Right now, I am like a walking or driving time bomb. Please beware!!

Friday, November 9, 2007

Every Woman

Quick question. Is there any reason for a woman not to feel like a woman? I mean even at late twenties knocking on the big three oh? For the past four months I have been numb. Physically and emotionally numb. Well the emotional part has been going on for sometime but the physical aspect reared its ugly head about four months ago. I thought it was a passing phase maybe an hormonal issue but I am begininig to think that it is more than that, I am having some serious thoughts that it might be a problem with a capital P.

I love watching old romantic movies. They do something to my inner spirit. Lately, I have found myself hissing at the screen kisses even fast forwarding the scene just to get away from the annoying part. I can not put up with Nigerian love stories especially the ones with titles like Love Will Kill Me, Real Love, I Will Die For Love, Love Is Trouble, To Love You Is To Die. Neways I am just messing around. I saw Real Love, it was good but should have ended with the first part.

Back to my non-woman state. I seem to dread any kind of physical touch nowadays and believe me it is not PMS, it is a cry for help. I guess women generally have that time when the hormones are dancin to the call of nature even if they are not gonna do anything about it, they still feel it. That nurturing feeling. That warm feeling that makes you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, Agbani should go and siddon. I used to feel like that too at least a whole week in a month. I used to go around with a secret smile, swaying my waist as if I have some jigida on and throwing my legs out in a stalk. You could call it a predator's stalk. This is the time that the womanly charm comes out in full force and woe betide any man at the receiving end. A woman would purr like a cat and would desist from all nagging activities even if its gonna be for a week but alas I do not even have that one week anymore. I dont have that feeling again. Could I be turning into a man?

I want to believe that even men have their ''blues'', I think they call it ''agros''.So what in the world is wrong with Yayi? I visited my gyneacologist last week. Dear Dr R, she said it could be pyschological and as if I would allow myself to be examined by a shrink, Heck No. God Forbid!!! The way I yelled No ehhn the woman nearly left her skin behind. In this foreign land where you would be transferred from one doctor to another all in the name of pychoanalysis, abeg o,I no do. Dr R suggested hormonal treatment and I declined. Patapata I will go to Naija and look for correct herbs. Maybe some fresh ginger tea, organic to be precise and something to rejuvenate my memory. I have a strong feeling its deeply rooted in my memory. Once I remember the feeling then I should be fine.

I am not crazy. I dont think I am neways. I announced to the folks last week after the doctor's visit that I was gonna go anti-male.I didnt tell them the real reason, I would never admit to Pa not even when I am a grandmother that I know about the real stuffs. Never!! So I told the folks that I was going anti-male and nobody and I mean nobody should try to hook me up again. I am not a fire bleching masquerade so if the guys are not smart enough to take the initiative and discover Yayi then they are not good enough for me. I told my mum that if the boy from the church, the pastor's brother should come near me again that I would spit in his face and not ordinary spit, it would be some thick and nasty phelgm. She was shocked. Well, I don talk my own. Its like a raging war within me. Shit!!!!

I wanna be a woman again!!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


In the late 80s, there was this peculiar style of armed robbery dominating the city I lived in. Well dressed ladies would come to your house, asking for the woman of the house and in all innocence, a hospitable child might throw open the doors inviting them in. The leader brings out a gun and waves it, robbing the house blind of jewelries and money. Well dressed men too would come saying your daddy supposedly asked them to get an important document from the house. Kids repeatedly fell for these tricks, the robberies were usually carried out during school vacations. The robbers knew kids would likely be home alone and normally, naija kids are nice and curious. Sometimes they used the NEPA and NITEL tricks. Posing as NEPA technicians trying to check out the meters or NITEL technicians trying to check out the connection. A lot of household were victims of these people, courtesy of their young kids throwing doors open in hospitable spirits.

So Pa really warned us about opening doors to strangers. We could go outside the yard to play but no talking to strangers. He used to call from his office daily checking on us, reminding us that he hadnt sent nobody to clean the house, cut the grass or pick up documents. During the summer vacation my cousins were with us and the homestead was filled to the brim. We were all outside the yard, actually we were all playing on the streets when we heard the roar of a motor vehicle. We all froze, where the heck did that noise come from? Suddenly, the roaring machine came around the corner with screaming breaks. There in full glare was a brown pick-up truck with NEPA boldly printed on its side.What was most scary was the men on the truck bed, they were holding on to a very long ladder

We scattered in different directions. Not that we havent seen NEPA guys before but it had been sometime that they had come to our street and they were so scary in the brown khaki overalls and giant belts and they were like ten in number.We all made it into the yard and I locked the gates in a frenzy. My heart was in my mouth, surely they were not the real NEPA guys, they were sure to be the people Pa warned us about. My eldest cousin helped me to barricade the front doors. By the time we were doing this, I could hear the men alight from the truck. Right in front of the homestead!!!! I directed my cousins to different hiding places ordering them to be quiet. In a minute you could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly there was a loud rattling at the gates, they were there!!! Though we had a NEPA file we kept for this purpose but in no way was I coming out, when they could be armed robbers, no way!!
'' Come out, we know you are in there", one of them shouted, then I knew I had to do something to protect the homestead, my cousins and the family heirlooms. I crept towards my father's room and grabbed the double barrel.No way was I gonna let those thieves harm us and cart our stuffs away and I wasnt gonna get gagged and strussed up like a chicken. I signaled to my eldest cousin and we moved the barricade behind the front door and crept outside. I looked around the pillar and right there was a man climbing the ladder leaning against the electric pole.

I knew we were done for, he was gonna jump into our yard from the ladder. I moved a little away from the pillar and aimed the double barell at him. He didnt look down because he was busy climbing. I whistled as low as I could and he looked down. He froze and let out a blood chilling scream, grabbing the pole in horror. The guys that were standing by the gates laughed out loud thinking he was mildly electrocuted. He screamed No!!! He hurriedly climbed down, with me still having him in the nuzzle of the double barrel and muttered curses.
'' She wan kill me'' he cried out to his fellow thieves.
'' who wan kill you? abeg go and disconnect the thing. if they no go allow us inside to read the meter and check the bill then we must disconnect''
The other men laughed and moved on to the next house. That was when it dawned on me that they were real NEPA technicians. I was in big trouble but I comforted myself with the thought that he alone saw me, he couldnt prove it and I would deny it. Meen....I thought they were armed robbers.

I thought they were all gone then I stepped away from the pillar only for the man who climbed the ladder to jump out from around the gates and scream,
''Na u, na u wan kill me...aaaaawwwwwwwwwww wetin I do you? Na u , na u dem send to me o. Chineke mei, Na God go punish you o. I go report you o.'
I dashed back into the house locking the front doors again. I was trembling. I returned the double barrel to its place and everything went quiet once more. After sometime, I heard the other men asking him why he wasnt on the pole, disconnecting. I guess one of them must have climbed up there because our electricity suddenly went out and I could hear them tossing the cables into the yard. Well, Well, Well!!! I had gone and done it this time. Why wasnt I bold enough to bring out the NEPA file even if I wasnt gonna allow them in to read the meter. See me see trouble o.

When Mum got home, she demanded to know why we got disconnected and I just had to open up and tell her what I did to the poor guy.She just shook her head at me. When Pa got home, she told him. I was petrified. Pa asked me to go on a walk with him and gave me a lecture about the dangers of aiming guns at people even if they are not loaded.It might turn out to be a police case but he would handle it. He made me promise never to do that again unless I was really sure we were being attacked. Everybody was suprised to see me in one shape when we got back from the walk. I guess Pa spoiled me a little sha.

Our electricity supply got restored that night after Pa paid a visit to the NEPA office. I saw him grab two big bottles of wine when he was going over there and he asked me to saty out of sight if they came back that night to reconnect. He didnt want the guy seeing me and getting all upset again. Whoa, the things I did!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Driving Lessons

I just knew I had to do it too. I woke up to the roars of a motor vehicle one morning. I had just graduated from high school and was waking up later than usual. I narrowed my sleep groggy eyes towards the wall clock, it was 9am. So who in the world was stepping on the gas and scattering pebbles at this hour, right in front of my house??? Then came the familiar and popular honk........DII DOO DII DOO DEY. I flew high and out of bed. It had to be a friend of mine. I rushed outside the gates and came to an abrupt stop, it was G-Funk. She was driving her mum's car, their young mechanic was riding shotgun. I screamed. I mean....when and how did she learn to drive????? She gave me a thumbs up and pointed at her passenger then realisation dawned. The young mechanic had taught her secretly. I gushed and glowed green with envy. I had been begging my mum since the day I wrote my last paper to let me go to a driving school but the answer had always been NO. I just knew I had to talk to Pa.

That evening I did all the chores in the house, cleaned my parents' room and whatever I could lay my hands on. I made sure Pa saw me slaving away. When the coast became clear, I whined and cajoled Pa till he gave in. Yippee. He called my mum and told her I was ready for some driving lessons but he had no time on his hands to ferry me back and forth from a driving school. Mum thought for a moment, then decided to use one of the official drivers at her job. She mentioned one Mr Adeleke, an experienced driver with the road under his belt. I was so excited I couldnt sleep. I couldnt wait to get my hands on a wheel, though Pa used to let me hold the steering wheel anytime we went out together but that was nothing compared to really driving. I was in the skies, rolling and tossing till morning.

In the morning, mum announced that my younger brother was gonna take driving lessons too. I was generally pissed. I mean, I didnt want no kid tagging along. I wanted to drive before my brother even learnt where the gear stick was, I didnt wanna learn with him. Meeeeeeen....
Neways I had no say in the matter. Mum took us to meet Mr Adeleke. He was an elderly man in his late fifties, very close to retirement. He was short and wiry but seemed very nice and friendly.Mum handed us and her car keys over to him. He led us back to the parking lot and we all piled into the car. He turned to us and asked us to call him Baba Saheed not Mr Adeleke, he complained Mr Adeleke was too formal.

Baba Saheed drove for like forty-five minutes before driving into the gates of a high school. The place was deserted because the students were on vacation. He turned the vehicle onto the large football field, then he scooted to the far side of the seat and asked me to take the wheel. This was pretty easy because I had been doing precisely that with Pa before I was ten years old. I did pretty well before he stopped and asked me to manouver the gear stick. I guess I was overconfident and smiled ruefully. He started calling out the gear numbers
At 3, I stopped I just couldnt get it. He asked my brother to do it and he did it so pretty well, I casted a suspicious glance his way. somebody must have been teaching him!! Then Baba Saheed turned to me again.
'' o ya fi oko si gear'' ( shift the gear into 1)
'' fi si gear keji'' ( shift it into 2)
'' fi si gear keta'' ( shift in into 3 )..........then the trouble started again
'' ha ha iwo omo yii, ki lo le ninu ko fi oko si gear keta'' ....... (this girl, what is so difficult into shifting the gear to 3) then he proceeded to demostrate.
'' gear 1, hoiiiiiii ''
''gear 2, hoiiiiii ''
'' gear keta, hoi hoi , o ya tun se...................................( do it again now).

The first day of driving lessons was a mess. My brother gloated at me. I had failed woefully. I improved a little with the gear thing the second day. By the fourth day, Baba Saheed had me on the main street. I was shaking with fear but he couldnt careless. He had told my mother he was gonna get us ready in two weeks. Two weeks ke???? Is somebody trying to turn me into a Miracle Micheal Schumacher overnight?? I was gripping the steering wheel like a life line with all eyes on the road when I suddenly sighted a group of friends walking alongside the road. For the life of me, I had not seen those girls in ages, Mum had turned me into a serious aboki. We were bloody due for a housemaid. I forgot about the driving lessons, I forgot about Baba Saheed, I forgot about my brother and mummy's car and I completely forgot I was driving on a main street. I threw my hands up and yelled in delight to my friends, they turned and saw me then yelled back in excitement.I was waving like crazy until a skull-breaking knock landed on my head, the car swerved crazily and Baba Saheed grabbed the steeering wheel, yelling at me to get my foot off the accelerator and march the breaks.

'' parkee oko parkee oko jare'' he yelled at me. ( park the car, park the car )
'' a ni ki o ju gear, o le ju'' ( you havent been able to down shift to three)
'' sugbon o le ju owo si awon ore re '' ( but yet you can wave at your friends )

I was shaking so badly, holding the head and I told Baba Saheed I couldnt continue but he wouldnt let me get down from the car,

'' iwo ti o wa oko de ibi naa ni o wa oko ku ro o, o si le sa lo o'' (You drove the car here, and you are still gonna drive, you cant run away!!!)

Good thing, he didnt tell my parents. Believe me Baba Saheed got us ready in two weeks, my mum couldnt believe it. Bad thing, she absolutely refused to let me near her car, she found out about the gear 3 problem and blaimed me for ruining her gear box. Neways I knew what I had to do, I made an extra copy of her key and got me a ride anytime I wanted one. I dared not go near Pa's car, it was too big neways, my feet wouldnt reach the pedals, pillows or no pillows. Mum would get really furious with me but she was the one who allowed an experienced and professional driver teach me how to drive in two weeks.

I now became the pro, I could drive to Kutuwengi though I didnt have a driver's license until ten years later. One day I tested Pa's car and with the help of a pillow, I was able to reach the pedals and drive it around town. I had a fantastic time honking DII DOO DII DOO DEY down G-funk's street. One day we tried to persuade Temmy to let us use her dad's mercedez to go hang out. She absolutely refused. Chicken!!!!

Friday, October 5, 2007

The Rooster King II

The Rooster King strutted past and we knew what we had to do. G-funk went into the house and came out with a handful of corn.

'' cuckoo cuckoo cuckoo'', she called out to the goloba. The bloody thing ignored us and tossed its giant comb. That thing was nasty looking, all pink and soft.The coaxing wasnt gonna work, we had to come up with another strategy. I went to the kitchen and threw open the door leading out to the big yard, the front door was wide opened too. We looked around to make sure that Mama Tinuke wasnt home then we made a grab for the cock.

The darn thing actually stood its ground and flew at Temmy. She screamed and made a dash for the house. G-funk and I went after it with battle cries. We ran after the cock for several minutes, all to no avail then we decided on another strategy. G-funk trailed the corn from the yard through the back door and into the kitchen then we waited in the living room casting hopeful glances at the back door.

Not long after we did the corn thing, we heard the obvious sounds of the rooster pecking at the corn. We grinned, it was just up to the goloba to peck its way into the kitchen. The bloody thing appeared at the back door but stalled, not sure if it was that lucky to get a wagonlike cornfeed or the gesture was filled with malice. It must have settled for its first thought because it stepped gingerly across the threshold and pecked away into the kitchen.

I tiptoed toward the back door and slammed it shut. Rooster King flew up, startled and let out an ear splitting crow filled with panic. Temmy shut the front door and the mad chase began. Goloba screamed so loud we thought it was gonna bring the neighbors down on us. Finally, we got it trapped in the bathroom, there were feathers all over the tiled floor. G-funk ran for a knife, and handed it over to me while she and Temmy wrestled down the big cock.

Now, this is where it became confusing, I was not ready to slaughter no chicken. I trembled hard, really scared. I shook my head to clear the confusing thoughts and gave G-funk back the knife. She dropped it like a hot coal and looked away from Goloba. Temmy grabbed the knife and started to cut open the cock's throat, all the while she was screaming and praying feverishly. We prayed along with her, totally scared out of our wits.

Neways, we dressed Goloba and pop it inside the oven. It was roasting good with a nice aroma when G-funk' s mum suddenly arrived. We scratched our heads and danced on our feet. We were so jittery, she knew something was amiss. Then she demanded to know where we got the roasting chicken from.
'' hmmnn , hemmmmm, hemmmmm, Yinka's mom gave us the chicken. Hemmmmm, she has a poultry she is getting rid off.''
''hmmn, actually she just gave us a chicken''
'' well, we bought it from her''
'' maybe Yinka gave us the chicken, who knows?''

The lies were just tumbling over each other. She sighed and left us alone. She refused to eat out of the chicken when it was done. She just knew we were up to no good. Goloba tasted nice and we enjoyed it until Mama Tinuke's shrill voice came out loud and clear. She had started looking for her rooster!!!

I ran all the way home, though I was too slow because my belly was filled with the aromatic flesh of the Rooster King. I slept good the first night but immediately I woke up the next morning, I perceived a strong smell of chicken blood. I knew I was in trouble. I went around with my nostrils in the air for three days non-stop. I was a mess. Not suprisingly, my friends were having some nice guilt trips too. We were all miserable. We thought of confessing to Mama Tinuke but we were not sure we wouldnt end up in jail.

Finally, we knelt down and prayed hard to GOD, asking for forgiveness. We felt a little bit ok afterwards but it was so sad seeing Mama Tinuke lament about her rooster. May Mama Tinuke never see this blog o,amen. She would be so disappointed but that cock had been so annoying. I couldnt eat chicken for months, my mom thought it was the saw dust phobia once again but no, it was the Goloba Phobia.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Rooster King

After the nomadic experience, my mum decided to start a poultry farm. We all hated the idea but Pa was convinced that we could get to eat chicken we raised by ourselves instead of 'golobas' (cocks) that were raised only God-knows-where. Mum wasnt gonna get a farm hand, she had five children. What would she do with a farm hand? Sigh!!! She worked us to death. We had to go to the saw mill to get saw dust every saturday, this gave me a nasty allergic reaction and I never recovered. Pa was sure we were getting a lifetime trainnig to become sharp and smart kids. With the training in a chicken farm????? Sigh!!!My parents never believed that there was something their children couldnt handle. Pa taught us to change flat tires and, clean,and load up to shoot his double barrel. I could shoot with a good aim on a target by the time I was ten years old, likewise my sisters. I had the majestic duty of cleaning Pa's double barrel very saturday after each trip to the saw mill.

I was in junior high when my mum decided to get rid of the poultry farm. She had been doing it as a hobby, giving out chickens every month to our neighbors but I guess she got bored and started looking for another hobby to occupy her mind. I was so sick and tired of eating chickens. We ate nothing but chicken because mum wasnt selling them, she was growing the smelly birds and giving dozens out at the end of the month. We were so relieved we danced around for joy. Bye bye to saw dust, bye to allergies, bye to smelly chickens, bye to colic, and farewell to the saw mill.I vowed never to eat chicken in my life, ever!!!

After junior high exams, I was on a summer vacation of three months. I was elated but gradually got bored. I hooked up with my friends and we went everywhere we could. We were so bored we started sleeping in. One day, a young man came to the homestead and gave Pa a big bottle of Bacchoos Tonic Wine. The bottle sat there on the kitchen work table , unopened and beckoned at me for a week non-stop. I eyed it with disdain and resisted with all my will.I wasnt gonna start drinking liquor at age thirteen, I was a good girl, I assured myself. The following week I lost the battle and embraced the big bottle of wine. I thought of sharing it with Temmy and G-funk but I was home alone and had been ordered to be the ''aboki'' (security guard) for that day. I couldnt leave the house. I twisted the cap and inhaled deeply. The fumes went straight to my brain and my eyes and mouth watered. I promised myself that I was just gonna take a capful and leave the poor bottle alone.

The next thing I knew my sister was shaking me awake, I had been asleep for five hours. I squinted at her, she knew something was wrong. She raised the alarm that got me into trouble. Mum grabbed hold of me of me and shook me real hard. I was so drunk I couldnt make out her features. She thought I was ill until she perceived my breath. Two gigantic slaps landed and I nearly fainted. My sister rescued me and made me go under a very cold shower, then I was sick like a dog. Everything came up and out.I was okay if a bit shaky after an hour. I had to go and fish out the empty wine bottle from the trash. Mom had to see it. She couldnt believe her eyes. Well, she made me some nice pounded yam with vegetable soup, to settle my tummy, so she said. She never told Pa.

Two days after the wine palaver, I went to G-funk's house. We whined about the boredom and wished we could resume yesterday. Somebody knocked on the front door, it was Temmy. The three of us sat on the porch and gisted for several minutes until Mama Tinu's goloba strutted past.The bloody thing wasnt a peacock but it sure strutted like one with the full feathers and bushy tail. It had a beak as long as a whistle. G-funk had complained about the cock crowing right under her bedroom window. That was one annoying cock. We watched as it stepped like the Rooster King. We knew what to do.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Please Come My Way

Sometimes I feel like stepping out of myself and just beat myself silly. Get myself into a ring with British Bulldog, Sergeant Slaughter and Hulk Hogan and let them do whatever they want with me. Better still, let Undertaker give me a body slam. Its either I sleep for three years or just travel back in time to when I was six years old. That would be better because then I would take my steps along this path called life with extreme caution. I would guard my heart with jealousy and protect myself with a steel armour.

Ade called and I gushed like a baby with a mouthfull of milk. Disgusting, right? I have been gushing like this ever since I met this gentleman. Speechless and flustered if he as much smiled at me. I thought I was just shy and it took me a whole year to realise that I was just exhibiting the symptons of that virus called love. I held on to my sanity, trying very hard not to become vulnerable but all my efforts were futile, he provided in abundance all the ingredients needed to make a good pot roast of a relationship.

We chatted for half an hour, steering clear of emotional topics. We dissected Naija, the joys and the pains. That was the safest conversation we ever had. What was at the tip of my tongue was the great question, ' do you have a girlfriend or are u in a relationship right now?' but I couldnt utter the hateful '' girlfriend'' word and I was afraid he was gonna say ''Yes''. Neways I didnt ask him and I went back to the normal torture, trying to figure things out. I didnt want him to think I was making myself available. Hmmmm......Pride!!!!!!

Ade and I do not practise the same faith. I went into the relationship fully aware of this. I confided in Pa and he told me that as long as a man believes in God, he is sure to reap HIS blessings. In a way, Pa had given his go-ahead and nobody was gonna stop me. What came as a shock was that though I was well liked by his family, the religion factor was a big deal to them. They let me know that I had no choice but to convert and practise their faith and they actualy started calling me a name they felt suited me. Trust Yayi, I told them upfront one day that I wasnt gonna convert, nobody could make me loose all the values my parents instilled in me and they should stop calling me ''that''. The problems started.

Ade was not aware of this and I did not want to be labelled a telltale so I kept it to myself until all hell broke loose. His brother introduced a girl to him and he became confused. He started avoiding me. I knew what was going on and I realised there wasnt anything I could do about it. The girl belonged to the same religious sector as Ade's family.She was pretty and charming, so I heard but she was a first class bitch. She did a good job of hiding that beautiful character until she was found out. By this time I was long gone, putting miles between my heart and Ade.

Really, I dont know what to do. We have never talked about it. I am not sure I want to be with him. He could have resisted her but I could understand that he was just a man. Fine, but do I want him back with all the religious issue and all that???? I dont think so. His brother could decide one day that Ade needed a second wife or a third one to take care of him in his dotage.

Really what I need is young blood, new lethal lyrics and a fresh body. I am tired of seeing the same old faces, I am tired of being chased by ex-boyfriends. They dont want to understand that an ex is an ex, maybe they still have hopes of finishing what they never started or tasting what they will never have, I really dont know.

New lethal lyrics, please come my way. I promise to stop dreaming about Ade. Young blood, I am all yours. I am done with older men, though they could be sweet.Hmmmm.......fresh body please come my way. Ade has a very nice six pack shape but I promise never to compare him to you. You are much needed now. Please come my way. I reject all pregnant men with all my spirit and I come against any insecured man with all my being. Men with low self esteem will never be attracted to me again as long as there is Eledumare. I am not gonna be careless with my pysch again. New lyrics, please come my way!!!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Take A Guess

Hmmm. No childhood memories for this girl today. I knew I was in a lot of trouble the moment I thought it was Ade snoring beside me not Mr Boyfriend. Not that Ade used to snore like a freight train, his was more like a deep deep breathing. A result of working so hard in his firm. I raised my head from the pillow and it was Ade's face I saw then I blinked twice and Mr Boyfriend came into focus. I just knew I couldnt go along with the wedding.
I broke up with Ade around August, last year though not willingly. It really hurt and it still does. Ours was a relationship that transcended beyond love, he was my confidant, my friend and most of all my big brother. I took him for granted a lot because I felt he couldnt get mad at me. Ade was the most confident man I ever came across. He was so intelligent, sometimes I feared it would get him into trouble. He was handsome and suave, very soft spoken and most of all conservative. He was a determined young man with a touch of the Midas' Luck. Everything he touched turned to gold including Yayi. I blossomed under his tender touch. He nurtured me and encouraged me, supporting me through tough times.
Ade was much older than me and I think this created a barrier we couldnt break. He found my stories amusing but he indulged me anyway by listening to me quietly, sometimes without making a sound. This was so frustrating to me. He was the kind of guy who did not believe in whispering sweet nothings into a woman's ears. He believed in saying the truth which he did a lot with me wanting to bite him. He was so blunt he annoyed the hell out of me sometimes. He had so many nice qualities and to top it he could cook like a dream but I got greedy and wanted more. I wanted him to behave like a guy in my age group and at the same time retain those nice qualities. I started getting frustrated and we had bitter arguments.
One day, I looked at him and told him to take a hike. We had been dating for four years. It really hurt but I had made up my mind. I met Mr Boyfriend six months after I broke up with Ade. I knew Mr Boyfriend from high school so I felt safe. I didnt have to fall in love and go crazy over him. I knew him way back, he liked me, he proposed and I said YES. I knew it was wrong but I wanted to forget Ade. My wrongest move. Believe me, I tried so hard to love him but it was so hard because his holier-than-thou attitude made it more difficult for me. He complained about everything Yayi, except my face (pretty face, i guess), he insulted my creativity and made me feel he was doing me a favour by marrying me. He actually compared me to his girlfriend, boobwise!! I knew I had to get out of it but how? I had no idea. I started praying to God to help me out.I needed a miracle exit.
God created a way and I gave him back the rings.I am free and the beautiful wedding dress is still hanging in my closet. I pushed it far into a corner where I dont have to see it each time I open my closet.Gradually, Mr Boyfriend faded into a distant memory. Guess who called today!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

My Sweet Valentine

Hanging out with your friends could be fun especially on Valentine's Day when no one has offered to be your val. Actually, when no guy has offered to be your one and only Valentine. That is when you see nothing wrong in having a girls' Day Out. You seize every opportunity to berate the opposite sex, ridicule them and potray them like necessary devils. You get tipsy and laugh your heads off with stories of the male appendage, the functional and the dysfunctional, the tall and the short, the albino and the colour riot.
I met Amani when I was in college, my second year I think. He fell like a pack of cards the first time he laid his eyes on me. He was so crazy about me people felt I had given him some '' efo riro and snail to chop". If he had come to my hostel to eat he would have eaten indomie noddles and corn flakes for dessert, nothing else o. Amani asked me out and I said NO. Well, I didnt have a reason because I actually liked him a lot but I was scared because he seemed so out of place with me. He was a very popular guy in the entertainment industry, though a student. I just didnt want to be the girlfriend of a television star. I so much cherished my privacy.
Valentine's Day slowly approached with the normal excitement in the air. I was irritated to the core. Amani was on my back to give him a chance, he was not talking about being a Val, he wanted to be a boyfriend!! No way. My roommates drove me crazy with their gushing and high expectations from guys that were so broke they would rob a teddy bear store just to give the so-called girlfriends Valentine's gifts.
Two days to February 14, I packed my bags , left school and shashayed my way to the city. I hooked up with G-funk. She did not have a Valentine date too so we hit the town, with the firm decision to have fun and enjoy ourselves. We got a cab and paid the driver to take us around town, he charged us a ridiculous amount of money but we paid him at the end of the day. We felt he deserved it.
Valentine's Day dawned fine and clear. G-funk and I stayed indoors watching movies, swearing at all the old boyfriends in our recent past and having a good laugh over one foolhardy story after the other. By evening we were bored out of our skulls so we decided to go to the mall. It was really far, like two hours drive. We did not want to drive that far so we got a cab to drop us off. We went around the mall, window shopping and pretended at the designers' stores as if we really wanted to buy a Gucci purse. By the time we spent an hour and a half walking around, the mall was ready to close for the night. We went out into the streets and started looking out for a cab. It was really dark and no cabs were coming our way.
We walked down the long street, no cabs. We retraced our footsteps to the mall, at least the place was well lit.We waited and waited, no cabs. We watched in dismay as a car drove out of the mall and the gates swung shut. Apparently it was the last car to leave the mall, a Mercedez Benz. We watched quietly as it rolled to a stop and a guy stepped out. He strolled towards us with a big smile.
'Hi ladies' he boomed
'Hi' we said.
"where are you ladies going to? are u looking for a cab? you are not gonna get one at this time of the night!! where are you going?' he giggled as he talked. He looked really silly with the combination of his teeny weeny voice and his height, he was very tall and thin.
''Nowhere, thanks'' we answered. He persisted and G-funk snapped.
''Ok, we are going to Surulere.''
'' Yipee, I am going to Surulere too. Come on, let me give you girls a ride. You are not going to get a cab here.'' he said with a note of finalty. G-funk looked at me and I shrugged. It would do our big heads some good to get home before we are locked out. He led us to the Mercedez. There was a guy riding shotgun. He didnt even say hello, he just stared ahead. As soon as our tall Sir Gallagher hit the freeway, he tuned in on his bloody blackman radio and nearly blasted our eardrums to blazes. We complained but got no response instead he cranked the junk music louder and threw cans of beer out through the open roof and kept swerving to hit the cans. G-funk and I clutched at each other in pure fright. We were in deep shit.
The bofoon riding shotgun said nothing. He was so scary with the way he was slugging back liquor in a big bottle and peering back to look at us. Suddenly, Sir Gallagher swerved off the freeway leading to Surulere and joined the one leading to Apapa. G-funk and I started shouting that it was the wrong way but the idiot wouldnt listen, instead he cranked up his stereo. I was shaking with fear,ohmigod we were getting kidnapped.
I remembered that the best thing to do when dealing with a criminal is to stay calm. So I signaled to G-funk and we brought our heads together. We kept mute as Sir Gallagher raced towards Apapa and yelled about having a wild party. Wild party?????? Haa where is my daddy? We got to Apapa and suddenly there was this slow traffic flow. G-funk and I removed our shoes quietly and got ready. Immediately the Mercedez started cruising , I nodded at G-funk and we both yanked the door on each side open and jumped out running. We ran on the tarmac, screaming for all we were worth. The Mercedez made a sharp turn and went off with a squeal of tires. By the time the cops at the checkpoint ( the cause of the traffic build up) started running towards us, Sir Gallagher and the Bofoon were long gone. Thank God the locks on the doors were manual and also there was that police checkpoint that night. Hmmmm, wetin I for tell Pa? It was actually the cops who got us a cab to take us home.
I could feel the guys we had ridiculed during the Valentine season laughing at me as I travelled back to school. What in the world would have happened if those two gorillas had succeded in getting us into a wild party? Wild party,my ass. They were a couple of drug addicts/armed robbers.I wish with all my heart that the two of you stumble across this post one day because God will forever punish your big heads and let you crash that stupid Mercedez off the Third Mainland Bridge. Hiss.
I got back to school, went straight to Amani and said YES. He gave me a lovely hand woven jewelry basket among other things. He called me his sweet Valentine. Ok o. I apologised spiritually to the guys I made fun of especially the one with the colour riot extension. God please forgive Yayi.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Nomadic Fury

In 1985, we moved to the beautiful jungle I decribed in the Broda Sk Again post. We hated it at first but grew to love it like something fierce. It was our own private paradise. To our utter dismay, we woke up one morning to the mooing of cattle. Fine, we were used to the birds but cows? Oh no!! We rushed outside in our pjs and what did we see? A large herd of Fulani Whites with a sprinkling of Mutuurus being escorted by two nomads. My eyes widened, that was the first time I was seeing a real nomad. The two men were dressed in tunics and jumpers. What fascinated me most was their braids. They had long braids swinging under their wide hats. They were slim and weathered with years of herding cattle. Their long sticks completed the picture. It was a sight to behold. Pa had taught us some words in Hausa so I screamed,
" Ina kwa na" I screamed so hard, jumping up and down, that the two men heard me above the noise made by the sluggish cows. They turned sharply then smiled. There were several teeth missing.
" Ina kwa na" they shouted back in greeting and my day was made. I prounced like a peacock all through that day. Everybody got tired of listening to my story about the nomads. Well, I was the one that said "Ina kwa na" (good morning), nobody else did and the icing on the cake was their response. I told everybody who would listen until Pa gave me Decree No4..........'go and take a nap.' I tried to reason with Pa that I was six years old and too old for a nap.He gave me the option of Decree No 1......''house arrest''and i opted jejely for No4. No need to get arrested on such a trivial issue( sigh) Christmas was just three days away.
I heard Pa complaining to mum that he couldnt fathom how the nomads found their way to our neighborhood, they were sure to ruin our clean environment with all those cows' droppings. Mum laughed and said the droppings would serve as manure for her vegetable patch. See me see wahala o,and who would collect those cow droppings? Please take a guess!
Neways, I developed an obsession for the nomads. Everyday,I hung on the grape fruit tree by the fence watching in fascination as they communicated with their cows by clucking their tongues and slapping the big rumps. The two nomads became my special friends and sometimes I gave them some drinking water or filled up their water bottles.
Suddenly the nomads stopped passing through and I missed them but there was nobody I could ask and my six year old mind failed to come up with any tangible reason. I slowly forgot about them until three years later when we woke up again to the moos of the cows. I rushed outside, hoping to see my two friends but no, this nomad was a total stranger. He was a younger man with a permanent scowl. It was as if he ate cow dung for breakfast. He was mean looking and mean to the cows, always clucking angrily. I disliked him on sight. I wondered about my two friends but I couldnt bring myself to ask him, not sure I wouldnt get a whack on the head courtesy of the long stick.
This new nomad became a regular herder passing through our neighborhood. One day, I was on top of the grapefruit tree when I heard screams from down the road. Who was that? I climbed to the highest branch and watched in horror as my younger brother ran towards the house, calling for help. Behind him with a long wicked looking dagger drawn was the new nomad. I scrambled down the tree and ran to the gate, I was hoping to get the gate opened so that my brother could run into the yard but alas, he went past the gate like a bolt of lightining. I started screaming too,scared shitless then I quickly close the gate when the dagger came close to designing my big nose. Luckily, our neighbor's gate was wide opened so my brother ran into their yard and locked himself in.I didnt know this until later. I thought the mad man had killed my brother,my only brother and the male version of Yayi. I was crying and raining abuses on the nomad. Funny enough, nobody was home that day, just the two of us and my brother had gone to buy firecrackers, it was close to the New Year.
My brother came out of our neighbor's yard with blazing eyes, I was so happy to see him in one piece. He was still angry and spoiling for a fight. He was seven years old and spoiling for a fight with a crazy cattle herder.Ok o.
''what happened" I asked him. He said one of the cows blocked his path and yes, he called the attention of the nomad but he just ignored him as if he didnt understand then he slapped the cow and the man went berserk and drew a dagger. Ok, thank God we are both fine but dont tell Dad and Mum about this and he agreed. Hmmm, he told them and we both got Decree No arrest till the first day of school. I wanted to strangle my brother.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Weird Things

I have always been a sucker for myths and Pa grew up on the knees of his grandparents who did not spare him the ancient stories and mythologies. Pa used to tell us a lot of those stories when I was a little girl. We had this habit of sitting outside in the evenings and gulping down different stories with different fruits. Any fruit that was in season served as a story time snack. On my father's knees, I learnt about God the Ancient of Days, I learnt about the heavens and the earth. I even learnt about the world where spirits and ghosts reside. Those were scary stories but funny enough, I believed them.
Genny and I became friends at the beginning of our first semester in college. She was a very beautiful girl with long legs which I playfully referred to as tree trunks. We made a striking picture on the paved streets of the college as we went everywhere together, she was as tall and fair as I was tiny and dark. We shared everything except underwear and boyfriends. We had a pattern of walking which most people found annoying, Genny usually walked like two strides ahead of me. She had longer strides and after a semester of always running to catch up with her, I stopped which made her slow down a little but yet, she still walked ahead of me while we carried on a conversation. Many people thought we were weird, she was more outspoken while I was reserved but I used to jump in front of her to fight her battles.
I listened to a friend's mum one day during the school vacation. She was talking about the history of my college or the history of the vast land before the school was built. It was a sacred forest where all kinds of things you can imagine lived, where betrayed warriors would go in annoyance never to be seen again. I heard stories all the time about students seeing weird things like ghosts and spirits but I never believed one single tale until I heard my friend's mom who hailed from the town talking about it, then I began to wonder. After dwelling on it for two minutes, I dismissed the confusing thoughts. I knew students could make up stories after stories, well I was not gonna be part of the "seeing" group. When I got back to school, I gisted Genny and we both laughed it off. Sacred forest indeed.
Exams rolled in and we started studying late into the nights. We were in our second year and we were greatly fed up with school life. One of these late night studies left us stranded on a lonely strecht of the road leading to the staff quarters. Genny had her car but it ran out of gas. We had managed to steal a gallon from her mum's car two days before so I guess our luck just ran out. We were like two miles away from Genny's house so we got down, locked the car and left everything in there. We were so exhausted we just didnt wanna hold anything. We took off our shoes and started down the road. Like usual, Genny walked in front of me. She started singing and I joined in.
We were just yards away from the house when Genny suddenly stopped singing and came to a standstill. I nearly ran into her back but stopped myself on time.
''what the..............?'' then I saw it too.
I stared at the form in front of us. At first I thought my mind was playing tricks on me but right there was the tallest creature I had ever seen. It was almost as tall as an electric pole and almost as slim. It came towards us with long and sure steps. When I look back now, I just know that thing had been out on a nightly stroll. Goose pimples raised down my arms and the hair at my nape stood at attention. My head swelled up and my throat closed in fear. There was
a street lamp just a few feet in front of us and when the creature got under the light, it disappeared but we could still hear the footsteps.
I cant remember whose brain and legs connected first but suddenly we were flying into the bushes, running for dear life. Luckily, we came out into Genny's yard and banged loudly on the front door with screams that could wake the dead. Prof threw open the door and we got an earful. We couldnt explain what we saw. He warned us about walking in the dead of the night. Genny and I were trembling so hard we did not even feel Prof's wrath, we kept staring at each other like zombies. Prof went back to his bedroom, muttering about sturborn goat-headed children.
We walked slowly to the living room and looked at the grandfather clock as it chimed like a runaway train. It was 2 O' Clock in the morning.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Boda Sk Again

In December 1985, we moved to a new house. I cried myself silly because I was leaving my friends behind. Pa assured me that they would visit me. I had been to the new house several times with Pa but he never told me it was gonna be our new home. The house was like a homestead. I am referring to the way Texans call their homes sitting lonely on acres of wild wilderness. There was a big plantation of cocoa, sugarcane and oil palm. I was devastated because the only thing we used to wake up to was the singing of the birds. We went to bed with the loud croaks of the frogs that lined the flower beds. The neighborhood had its charm though. It was peaceful and quite beautiful. There were just three houses down the long street. One day we woke up to the chirping of bats in the living room. We screamed and screamed, scattering in every direction until Pa killed them all. I asked Pa in sly tones where the heck he brought us to and I got a baleful glare for an answer. He informed us we were the ones that came to disrupt the ecological habitat of the different animals so we should prepare for the worst. My mum shuddered in fear and cautioned us about snakes. I was cock sure we were gonna receive a monkey next as a guest. I whispered to my four year old brother that he was gonna wake up the next morning with a monkey in his bed. He howled and cried non-stop for several minutes.
Broda Sk was the hunter and the farmer rolled into one. He loved to get his hands dirty. He loved nature and agriculture. He actually graduated form college with a degree in Plant and Animal Science. He was very happy with the new environment and he introduced us to the joys of eating crabs, frogs and birds. He would set traps or use the catapult. Many squirrels had suffered the catapult fate. We became very happy in our new environment. My uncles decided to ship their kids over and it was a mad house. Christmas was fun, though very cold.
My mum became friendly with our nearest neighbour, Mrs B. She was a beautiful young woman in her thirties. She was married to a medical doctor who was a skirt chaser. She had three lovely kids. She used to come to our house a lot, complaining to my mum about her husband. She was the one that called my mum's attention to Aunty Kehinde's big belle. She encouraged mum to confront her housemaid. Of course, she denied being pregnant. She said she was filled with pounded yam. She had been ill for like three days before the confrontation. Mrs B yelled and screamed at her. My mum believed her that she wasnt pregnant and asked her to return to her duties. Mum was confused. She didnt understand how and where she could have gotten pregnant. She had been with my mum close to three years so she was a trusted employee. She was very hardworking if a bit slow and not very smart. Not up to two weeks after the confrontation, she told my mum she wanted to leave. She wept bitterly, saying she missed her twin and her parents. We all cried because we didnt want her to go. She was very nice and took care of us real good.
Mum sent for Mama M, the lady who brought her from Benin Republic. She promised my mum another girl within two weeks. She spoke privately with Aunty Kehinde but she kept hammering on the fact that she missed her twin sister and wanted to go back to Sogodoe, a coast town in Benin Republic. Mama M brought another girl. She was tall and dark with a head full of kinky afro hair. She couldnt speak a word in Yoruba but she appeared smart, strong and agile. She had a very pretty face with a small nose and full pouting lips. Basira was quiet beautiful with that kinky afro and she came straight from Togo.
Aunty Kehinde left after staying for another one week to show Basira the ropes. They could barely communicate but there was some achievement. She knew what to do. Barely two weeks after she got to our house, all hell broke loose. She had prepared some tomatoes to blend. NEPA did their rubbish and so my sister and I offered to take it to the main road. We told her not to bother, she could continue with her chores in the house. We communicated with sign language and it was quite effective. She walked briskly to my mum's bedroom and started to tidy up. My sister and I left but we were barely out of the yard when she remembered she did not take money from my mum's dresser. Some change were always kept there.
We went through the front door then we heard the screams. We stopped and listened. It was Bashira, she was screaming and saying things we couldnt understand. The screams were coming from my mum's room. My sister dropped the bowl of tomatoes and dashed towards the noise. The door was locked. We listened to the mighty struggle within, then we heard Broda SK's voice. He was in there with Bashira. My sister was frightened and started knocking on the door, calling my cousin. We jumped out of the way as the door suddenly jerked open and Broda Sk flew out of the door with Bashira in mad pursuit. We gaped open mouthed then ran after her. She was sobbing and muttering. I guess she was cursing Broda Sk to hell. She ran inside the kitchen and came out brandishing the biggest butcher knife with a murderous look, my sister and I made a beeline for the front door.''help, housemaid gone berserk''.
She dashed out moments after us and noticed Broda Sk had gone into the sugarcane plantation. She dropped the knife and sobbed uncontrollably. My sister and I stood a safe distance away and watched her. At first, I couldnt understand what had upset her so much but then I remembered Aunty Kehinde and I understood. Suddenly, there was a movement in the sugarcane plantation, Bashira jumped up and started picking rocks, throwing them in the direction of the movement. It was soon obvious that my cousin couldnt stay still, the rocks were hitting their mark. He ran in circles in the bush while Bashira pelted him with concrete rocks, then he started screaming begging for her mercy. She wouldnt relent.
My sister suggested we call Mrs B so we ran for help. It was Mrs B that consoled Bashira that day o. She sat outside and Broda Sk remained in the bushes until my mom came home. My mom was furious. She knew what her nephew had tried to do, though Bashira couldnt explain the situation herself. Of course, Broda Sk denied everything but Mum was really mad. She asked him to go to his mom's for the night. He cried and begged her but she wouldnt relent. He tried to wait it out till Pa came home but my mum wouldnt budge. He knew Pa had a soft spot for him.That night my mum started wondering about Aunty kehinde.
Just yesterday, I told my mum that her nephew might have a twenty one year old kid in Benin Republic. She relunctantly agreed, still trying not to believe that her precious nephew had been a hell raiser and the bed patner to some of her housemaids.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Broda SK

Really, I feel sorry for myself when I think about Ed. The what-might-have-beens and so on. So I decided to take another trip down the memory lane of childhood. I grew up with my siblings in a house filled with laughter and decrees. Pa had all kind of punishment dealt out in form of decree.
Decree No arrest.
Decree No are getting a spanking.
Decree No get to sit down and raise both arms and legs up. It was the perfect painful punishment, if you ask me. Pa called it "Ijoko Idera"( comfortable seat).
Decree No 4..................go straight to bed, close your eyes and take a nap by force.
Everybody in the house preffered Decree No 4.
I grew up in that house not knowing that the oldest sibling I had was actually my cousin. My mom's elder sister's son. He had been living with my mum even before I was born. It took me a long time to know that we had different last names.
Broda SK, as we all called him was like ten years older than me. He made us laugh with his crazy antics and stories. We all loved him deeply. He took care of us and protected us. I could raise hell in the neighborhood just because I knew Broda Sk was gonna protect me.
One fateful day while we were all playing out in the yard, my elder sister yelled at me to take Decree No 4. I cant even remember what I did anymore. She threatened to tell Pa what I did and at the same time beat the living daylights out of me if I didnt go take a nap. It was around 6pm and the twins were already hanging around, waiting for me so we could go beat up omo Iya Fayemiwo. The boy was spoiled and we had planned to teach him a lesson that evening. He was the last born of that Mama and he refused to play with us.
I flounced into the house, totally mad. I itched to get my hands on that proud boy. I fumed as I stalked towards my parents' bedroom. They were both out and it had been a perfect opportunity to reaarange the face of the last born of the Fayemiwos. They lived just two houses
away. I didnt wanna take a nap inside the girls' room. I guess I just felt more comfortable on my parents' bed.
The door was slightly ajar, so I just pushed it open and stepped inside. Right there on the carpet was Broda Sk.I froze. He was locked in a passionate embrace.......what am I saying? He was on top of our housemaid Aunty Kehinde, banging away. I watched as he jerked up and down. I realized they were both talking.
Broda o ri wipe o dun gan? ( do you now believe that you could enjoy it)
Aunty Kehinde..........haa Sk, o dun sugbon o si n dun mi o( it feels good but am still in pain)
Broda worry, o ma lo.( dont worry, the pain is gonna go away)
Aunty Kehinde..........sha ya ra o to ri awon mummy ko ni pe de ( pls hurry up cos Madame will be back soon)
I was like a robot with dead batteries. I couldnt move. Aunty kehinde sighted me and screamed. I fled the scene. See race o. I bolted out of the front door as if the devil was after me, actually Broda Sk was after me. I could hear him in hot pursuit. My sister yelled my name as I ran past her. I ignored her, not caring if she was gonna tell on me or not. At that point I was running for my life. I ran to Ola's house and stood on the staircase with my heart pumping as if I did a thousand miles. I needed protection, period!
Broda Sk stopped at the bottom of the staircase and demanded for me to come down. I refused. I was gonna stand there until Pa got home.My sister was asking Broda Sk what I did wrong this time but he couldnt come up with anything. After about ten minutes of cajoling, that didnt work, he went back to the house but came back in a jiffy with his arm full of my school uniform. I squinted at him, he was sure going crazy. He pleaded with me to come get my uniform and I asked him if he had ever brought my uniform to me after ironing. I was five years old but I was not stupid.He promised not to spank me and I promised not to say a word about what I saw.
A promise I kept until Aunty Kehinde suddenly sprouted a big stomach and Basira came from Togo to replace her. I will gist you in next post.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Stolen Kisses

And so, it started. A friendship I will always cherish. Ed turned out to be a cool guy and believe me, he was a youth corper but was fondly reffered to as a corp member by his friends. Though Ed was just in his mid twenties he had the disposition of a guy ten years older. He was matured and he was as cute as a huge teddy bear. We hit it off right away though I fought the attraction tooth and nail. I was adamant about not getting romantically involved in camp and to cap it, I was on the verge of entering into a serious relationship with another guy.
One cool evening after hours of climbing trees like monkeys with the soldiers yelling at us like chimpazzes, Ed pulled me aside and demanded to know what was troubling me so hard. I had been going around camp with a long face. I told him that Ade was coming for a short visit and he was gonna need an answer to his proposal. I didnt wanna say "yes'' , if anything I wanted to run in the opposite direction. Ed sat me down and we had a long talk. He ask me to give the guy a chance. I agreed. Only if I knew.........
Neways, that night was Orientation Night and Nigerian Brewries threw a big bash with a baaaad D.J. Marie and I chilled and watched the frolicking fellow corpers on the dance floor. There was a lot of booze and adrenaline flow. Everybody seemed to be having a good time except us. I asked Marie if she wanted to dance and she said No. I threw caution to the winds and stepped on the floor. I started dancing my heart out, then I came to a perfect standstill, right there across the floor was Ed, staring at me with the gentlest of emotions. Right there and then, I fell hard. Real deeply in love with the corper in spectacles. I knew I was rooting for trouble. He winked at me and joined me, then we started dancing. Most of the dancing corpers stopped and watched us as our steps matched and our bodies moved as one to the rhythm of love. We were in a world of our own.
After the party, we decided to walk off the booze and suya. Ed stopped right there in the middle of the traning field, pulled me into his arms and kissed me. He kissed me with all the pent up emotions inside of him and I kissed him back with the same intensity. I never wanted him to let go. I had never been kissed like that before. It felt so perfect and mind blowing. He explored my mouth deeply, straning to posses me. I molded my body to his not caring about the corpers walking past us. It was a kiss made in heaven. We were rudely interrupted by the angry yell of a soldier. He directed his flashlight to my face and Ed quickly shielded me and apologised to the soldier. We were told in sullen tones to go to our different rooms.
From that night, we became inseparable. Marie could not stop laughing at my constant bewildered look. I was glowing and I became the object of envy for many female corpers. They all wanted him but he had eyes only for this tiny princess. In the pearly dawn, I jogged beside him and woe betide any female who dared come near. I possesed my possesion. All what we could have were stolen kisses but we became the best of friends. I could tell him anything and vice versa. Corpers claimed we were lovers, some claimed we were siblings, why some could not fathom what he saw in a girl that looked like a cross between fulani and delta breed, others could not really understand what we saw in each other. We did not give a hoot, we just wanted to be with each other.
The night before camp was over, I cried because I did not even know how we were gonna be posted. I cried while he held me in his big arms. I did not want to spend the remaining eleven months of service faraway from him. I wanted to be with him always. The next morning dawned bleary and dull. I didnt want camp to end. Ed came looking for me and we wandered off to the traning field. He asked me to kneel down with him then he started praying. He thanked the Almighty for our meeting and prayed that His grace susutains our new found love and friendship. He prayed to God to develop our relationship into something beyond human comprehension. I cried when he finished. He kissed me tenderly, holding me close to his heart. I didnt know what to say because just the day before I had said "yes'' to Ade's proposal. I could not bring myself to tell Ed that he had called. I wish he had not encouraged me to give Ade a chance. At the initial stage, we never knew our feelings would grow to be that strong. I knew I had to do something about it but what, I had no idea.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Mammy Market

One minute, you want to be all grown up and escape the duties of a glorified housemaid carried out daily by you after high school graduation, get into college and abuse the longed for freedom, the next minute you wanna get out of the godforsaken institution and do what garduates do. Get a good paying job and paint the town red. The joke of the year!!!
College was Ok but I couldnt wait to get out. I thought the job market was a bed of roses. Actually I felt that a job was waiting for me at home. It was a rude shock when the people with authority announced the commencement of national service. A programme designed initially for fresh graduates to mingle with different cultures and to gain experience, if a little in the job industry. The programme had been cancelled due to corruption and political waste. It now served as a bottle neck to squeeze out the unemployed graduates. I dreaded it. I didnt know what to expect and I felt like I was being sent to prison. Pa was very concerned but he hid it well. He didnt want me to go too far from home but we did not even know what to think until the postings came out.
National Youth Service Corps. Well, I went to check my posting and dreaded seeing it. Yippe, I was posted to a neighboring state. I was relieved though I had started wishing behind Pa's back to be posted to the north. I really wanted to learn the language. No north for this youth. I packed my bag and set out that bright morning. In like two hours I was at the camp. I nearly swooned when I saw the number of youths like me on the grounds of the training college used. There were police officers, army officers, Man-O-War and only God knows, everywhere. My bag was searched and I was frisked. I had a sudden misgiving about coming. I thought camp was supposed to be fun,instead they were treating us like prisoners. Then came the registration, we stood out there for hours. I actually made the only girlfriend I had in the one year of service,there on the line. I was number 1,500 and something in camp. We were so many we were like ants.
Around 9pm, we were handed mattresses and we all slept whereever we could.It was definetely not fun. It took me three whole days to settle down. I had to alter the khakis , they were like 10 times bigger than me. I got lucky with the boots though. Marie and I became fast friends. We had gone to Mammy market one evening to get some spaghetti,only for us to see some nice looking girls guzzling away. They were all drinking "Shanko'' (small stout). They were later joined by another girl. She was nursing '' baba dudu'' (big stout). My mouth watered. it took an effort on my part to tear myself away from the small store. It had been so long that I had taken alcohol. I was just about to get into a relationship. I liked him very much but not comfortable with the religion factor. His religion does not allow alcohol. So ever since I met him,and decided deep inside my heart that I was gonna date him, I stopped taking 'shanko'',trying to form good girl.
Marie and I got back to my room,looked at each other and made a sharp turn. We went back to the store and bought two bottles of 'shanko'. We promised the owner of the store, Oga Ope that the bottles would be returned the next day. We had a field day with the two bottles and I didnt really wanna get up when the army officers came in the morning with shouts of''lets go lets go''. It actually sounded like ''leggoleggo''.
We went through the morning jogging and exercise. Later that day, Marie and I strolled to Mammy Market to return the bottles. We noticed a group of guys sitting down at Oga Ope's store, drinking. I was not sure about their status on camp because they were not in khakis or the whites. We gave the bottles back and chatted with Oga Ope for a few minutes. One of the guys said "hi'' and I said "hello'' quietly. If there was one thing I had vowed to avoid, it was camp romance. The guy that said hi was a big, dark guy in glasses. I noticed that it was just one of them without glasses. To me, they looked like young men that had wandered in from town. They definitely did not look like corpers to me. They radiated with confidence and there was an overall sense of maturity.
We made to move away from the store but I came to a perfect standstill when the light skinned one rose up to a magnificent height and strechted his big hand towards me for a shake. Suddenly, I felt shy and flustered. Out came the deepest voice I ever heard from a human being. I melted like butter to my toes.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Fall Out

Memories for me serve as an escape route. I travel down this lane anytime the matters of this life get confusing and overwhelming. Happy memories that bring a grin to my face. Recently, I have been getting more confused, excited and puzzled about this small world.
Ola and I were enrolled at the kindergarten of a nearby staff school while Tai and Kenny attended an international school. The international word in the school slogan was a big deal to Tai and she reminded us at every opportunity she got that the international word was missing from our school slogan. They even had white teachers. See me see trouble o. We had Mrs Orakartete though, she was white but Tai insisted that was just one white lady to tens of them at the international school. My teachers were Mrs Makinde and Mrs Orakartete. Tai didnt want to know about that. Tai was the aggressive twin. She controlled her brother like a puppet on a string. Even I could shout on Kenny, as tiny as I was. He was the tallest and if we have to consider the Yoruba cosmology, he was older than the three of us but he behaved like a robot.
One evening while we were left to our own devices, an arguement broke out. Tai started about the international thing again and Ola nudged me so that we could shout Tai down. Actually we were scared of Tai, if a little bit. She was fat and dark with a permanent scowl but she was the most generous five year old I ever came across. She let us into her parent's bedroom one day and we had a field day jumping on the huge bed. Kenny just stood there and shed tears like one egbere ( bush baby). He knew the shit that was waiting for them. Tai pranced and Ola pounced. She couldnt take it anymore. It lasted a minute before Tai got up covered in dirt and suggested a way to prove her point; she could take us to the school. It was not far at all, so she claimed.
We decided to meet behind the neighborhood mosque. We didnt want nosy neighbors to see us setting out. We ran through the corner streets, weaving our way in and out until we came
out at a major intersection. We were serious about this proof. we needed it like yesterday. The intersection had a small park filled with almond trees and three major streets led off it. we had come through one.
Tai hestitated, she was not really sure which of the two roads led to the international school. Kenny offered an opinion and he was shut down with a quelling look. Ola and I left her to deliberate and we walked to the trees and picked some almonds on the ground. There was a loud cough and we jumped a foot. There was a mad man sleeping on a park bench and we became so frightened we trembled in our shoes. By the way we were not wearing shoes!!! We ran to the twins , they were into it. For once, Kenny stood up to his sister and insisted it was the other way. They were both pointing in opposite directions. After some time, we decided to head back home but alas we couldnt figure out how we got to the intersection and it was really dark.
The mad man suddenly jumped up and staggered towards us. His raggedly robes flew in the air like flags of different countries. I howled like a banshee and we clutched each other in pure fright. Our heads were gonna be cut and eaten. He peered at us then turned and walked away. We howled louder. The shouts from across the street made us reduce the volume of the racket a little bit. Right there across the street were the Tapa girls that sold dankwua, guguru (popcorn) and groundnut in front of the mosque on our street. They were like four or five in number, all in their teens. They crossed the streets and asked us what the heck we were doing there . I started to explain then all hell broke loose. Tai suddenly took off with Kenny in hot pursuit. Ola decided to follow suit but with ear splitting screams of ''gbomogbomo gbomogbomo'' (kidnapper). I lunged after Ola but the eldest of the Tapa girls grabbed me and held on. I kicked and screamed for all I was worth but she didnt let go. I guess she took pity on my tiny self. I thought I was being kidnapped. I screamed until I was hoarse and limp. She picked me up and backed me. God bless her soul. Ola and the twins were long gone. In different directions.
The next thing I knew, I was waking up to a lot of noise. We were actually on our street. Why my friends took off like that, I dont know till today. We knew the Tapa girls well and played with them every evening in front of the mosque. My mum was outside screaming and crying. There was a search party in front of my house. The neighbors were getting ready to search for us. There was a sudden shout, somebody saw Ola dashing into her compound, she was fished out and her mom pounced on her. I watched the drama still at the girl's back. The had stopped in confusion. My mum asked Ola where I was and she said I had been kidnapped. There were wails and wails, my mum's the loudest. The Tapa girl stepped forward and lowered me to the ground. I wanted to get kidnapped, really get kidnapped when I saw the blazing fury in my mum's eyes. There were shouts again. Shouts of ''thank you'' to the girls.
The neighbors dispersed and I could see Ola being led into her house with her ear. I looked longingly at the Tapa girls, I wanted to go home with them. Drink fuura, eat dankwua, anything but my mum's wrath. I guess I enjoyed being backed. I must have slept off immediately she put me on her back but no way. We all stepped into the house. That night my mum beat the living daylights out of me, it was aunty Dupe , our housemaid that saved my life. I vowed to stop talking to my three friends especially Ola, she was supposed to be my best pal.
The very next day we teamed up again and ended up being chased by a neighbor's alsatian. The things we did...eehhh.!!!!!!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Full Mind

Today, this morning actually, I tossed on my bed not quiet awake but conscious in the throes of a vivid dream. I am sure it had gone on for nothing less than half an hour. It was so vivid I found it difficult to believe that it was a dream. I bolted upright. Alas, it was no nightmare just a series of events that played out like a full drama in my mind. A drama I had played a major part in. Despite the blasting air conditioner, I was sweating. Something was terribly wrong somewhere.
I dashed towards the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. No way was I going to sit down and try to figure out what had just transpired in the dream world; that realm is beyond me.
I got ready for the job, whistling and desperately trying to harness my mind to simple things like taking the Special K breakfast and backing out of the garage without running over Pa's seven year old german sherperd. That dog.......aaaaawwwwww.
At the job, my boss pissed the pants off me and I felt like taking off the pissed pants and throwing them in her face. For real!!! why do females make the worst bosses? I hope I do not turn out to be one. At lunch, I tried to figure out what the drama had been all about. Nothing came to mind, except the nagging suspicion that somehow I had misplaced my priorities again.
I decided not to crucify myself. What will be will be. I concluded in this full mind. I was sitting down on a park seat nibbling a chicken sandwich. I watched as four kids chased each other, screaming in excitement while two women watched. Their mothers, probably or nannies. Somehow they reminded me of little me and the gang. A gang of five year olds. We did not have child minders but our mothers had a string of housemaids who scrubbed the dirt off us after a wild day of climbing trees and riding our bikes into the neighbor's fish pond. Ola, Tai and Kenny, my childhood friends. I have not seen them in years but I still remember how close and loyal we were. We were just five years old but we had the zeal of a teenage hip group.
A smile tugged at my lips as I remember that cool evening of 1984. My mum had just given birth to one tiny hairy baby. I am yet to see a baby with that full head of dark curly hair like my sister. I was very happy not because I got a sister but because for once I was being ignored. Nobody was paying any attention to me because of the newest arrival. I glowed with the freedom of going on self imposed adventures with Ola and the twins. We explored all the forbidden places, like our bachelor neighbor's apartment who brought home different girls everyday. We were five years old but we were curious about what went on behind the closed doors. So we made it a point of duty every night to hang around the bedroom window trying to catch a glimpse of anything, actually any underwear and we were ready to announce to the whole world.
One evening, like two weeks after the hairy baby was brought home, me, Ola and the twins had a major fallout. It was a big mess. I will gist you in my next post.