This is not a week to get mad at guys but sometimes I can not just help it. I got a call from one of my girlfriends last night. She called around midnight. I knew there was something wrong immediately I saw that she was the one calling. We gisted about normal stuffs for a while before she let the beans spill. She had been hood winked. Sometimes I believe it is better to be financially defrauded than to be emotionally robbed.
She knew the guy from college, they were in the same department. Though they were not friends, they said hello now and then. She and the guy hooked up sometime ago and became friendly. She told me how happy he had been when he met her again at a friend's party. Before long the guy started asking for a date, he was so persistent and looked like a fool in love that she agreed and started dating him. Few months into the relationship she realised he had been messing around with another girl, an akata. They had a quarrel and she forgave him because he promised to stop seeing the girl.
Later he started talking about living together, though she was wary of that she agreed and moved in with him.Then he started acting all crazy, staying out late, lying about everything, stealing her money,trying to use her credit cards behind her back. Neways she found out he was planning on dumping her because the akata girl he had been messing with had been threatening him with a gun whenever he couldnt give her some money to buy crack. They had another quarrel, he started throwing her stuffs out of the house and she called the cops on him.
My question was" Is his ass rotting in jail?" She said 'No,'
''why not?
'' cos of old times''
Fuck old times!! One of the guy's friends called her and told her stuffs she never believed anybody could say about another human being. She found out he had been lying about his background, saying his father has a mansion, he is being owed 800million naira by the Naija govt, when the poor man has a small shop where he sews clothes for people at Ebute Metta, all kind of craps you will never believe a 33 year old man would say. I didnt know people like that still existed.
Neways when I heard that another friend of mine got dumped by her husband of 4 years. Why? He went to England, met another lady, called my friend and told her it was over. She could send the two kids over to see him when they are older. Can you beat that? She had empited her bank account and gave him all her money before he left for England on the pretext that he got wind of some profitable business.
Why would anybody do that to another human being when this life is just too short and this world is just too small? Why do men do that? Always not satisfied with what they have?
Like that one that left his family, I am sure he is gonna come back one day maybe when the kids are getting married and wear agbada, behaving as if he was the one that trained them.
That one that was living a double life, owing people money, borrowing and stealing from other people, what kind of children does he wanna raise? My friend really rained curses on him because she actually liked him genuiely not caring whether he was from a poor family or not. What she couldnt take was the lies then the disrespect. I dont blame her though, his ass should be in jail by now. Can you imagine, she was the one feeding him, buying everything in the house be it clothes, food, talk of it.And he had nothing to pay her back with than to be fucking a crack head in a park. Na wah o.
When my friend got off the phone, I started wondering if the dude was not cursed because my friend was an opportunity for him to restructure his life. She is just too nice and generous a girl.I pray she finds the strenght to get on with her life and the heart to forgive him.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
What Men Want
This has been a horrible week. For starters I drove all the way from Texas to Georgia. Mapquest kindly informed me that the trip was gonna be 12 hours and 56 minutes. I left Houston at 5am, it was still dark and raining and all those trucks were going over the speed limit as if they had no breaks. I tried as much as possible to enjoy the first strecht of my trip with Sandra, my Honda Accord and my Alpine stereo blaring some much love country music. After two hours of straining my eyes to see through the windshield, I stopped at Beaumont, slept for half an hour then got down to get me some coffee at the Waffle House. My spirits were uplifted when the owner, an elderly black man greeted me so nicely and gave me a bear hug. Yes!!! Now I felt I was onto some adventure.
I was still in an adventurous mood when I left the state of Texas behind, then passed through the great swamps of Louisiana. There, it took a conscious effort to keep my mouth closed. I couldnt help but marvel at what God had created. The swamps were vast, miles and miles wide. I nearly stopped on one of the bridges, just to praise God, you know. The roads were not so good but I had an eyeful of swamps, Indian rivers, amazing bridges and lakes. Missisippi was a hundred mile and I did that in no time, crossing into Alabama. This was where I started getting tired and all adventurous spirits flew out of the window. I wasnt sleepy just tired of talking to myself. To make matters worse, it got really dark at exactly 5pm and I couldnt really see and so I had to be driving at 50m/hr.It was ridiculous. I was about 70 miles away from the state of Georgia when I saw this big placard with ''LIONS" on it. I wanted to pee so bad but that strecht of the road was the wildest wilderness I had ever seen in my life. I nearly stopped to pee though but that big placard changed my mind. No use getting chased by a lion with my pants around my ankles. What would be the use of running from a lion anyway?
I got to Atlanta at 10pm, then couldnt get down from the car. My right ankle was messed up and there was this raging pain in my lower back, you know like how expectant mothers in labour scream about that part of the body? Ok hot shower, Tylenol, and vapor rub did the trick.I slept off dreaming about lions and swamps. When I woke up the next day, my nose wouldnt stop running and I knew there was something wrong. Neways I came down with the most furious 'flu I ever encountered. Each breath was painful to the grind. I hated to be helpless like that but I couldnt do a damn thing to help myself.I had no relief until I took ALABUKUN two days after the whole thing started. Now, the fever is gone but I am left with an irritating cough. I thank God that I am even blogging tonight because the way I felt two days ago eeehhn, I thought I was gonna recover next month.
Being ill and confined to bed really made me think about some stuffs.
Whoever said that women are difficult to please?????? Excuse me and pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I really had time to go over my youthful sojourn.
When I was 11 years old, all the boys in our neighborhood liked me and wanted me as a girlfriend because I could play soccer and was not afraid of getting dirty.
When I was 12, most of the boys did not like me because I could score more goals and outrun them in 100 meters race; I was the Red House Champion.
They suddenly liked me again when I sprouted boobs almost as big as my head and hated me immediately Pa stopped me from playing with them and I started wearing a bra.
The boys in high school liked me because I could dance and rap like them,knew all the lyrics of the songs by Naughty By Nature but they hated me because I wouldnt give out. Not even a kiss, Hell No!!
In college, the guys were crazy in lust and I didnt understand or see WHY!! Some said it was the daring attitude, some said it was my bouncy gait, some said it was the tomboyish thing..........yuck!! Well I have never seen myself as a male. I just do things my own way.
Halfway through college....some guys claimed it was my ability to take charge and take care of stuffs that drove them wild. One guy admitted to having a hard-on the day he saw me checking out the engine of a car. Some said it was the way I could jump start any car on campus or help a friend change a flat tyre. Now hold up....I did not study mechanical engineering in school, It was just the way Pa brought us up. Why would I pussy-foot around if I could do it myself??
Ok......I guess that was sexy to them right?? YUCK.
Now where do I get the feeling that men are actually scared of sharp girls?
You change tires...........you are a tomboy!
You wear decent clothes.............you are not sexy!
You are wild in bed.................you are a prostitute!
You dont think about marriage..............you are not focused!
You dont want sex....................you must be getting it somewhere else!
You want sex after marriage............you are old fashioned!
You dress like Beyonce.................you are trashy!
You wear Loreal........................you look like an Idian War Chief!
You wear french manicure...........that is why you can not cook!
You cook.........................and that is why he is getting fat!
You dare to be right............you are gonna be on your knees begging till daybreak!
You show some sexy moves..........you have started watching dirty movies without him!
You braid your hair..............it disturbs the sex!
You wear a low cut............."i love my woman with some hair"!
You are quiet..............you must be thinking of an ex!
You are talking..............you talk too much!
You make decisions............you have now become a man!
You are PMSing..........................you look like his grandmother!
You are smiling.....................you have a secret!
You are beautiful..............you are planning to run away with another man!
I can not go on o!
I KNOW THAT MEN ARE DIFFICULT TO PLEASE. Shikena
They do not have an idea of what they want!
I was still in an adventurous mood when I left the state of Texas behind, then passed through the great swamps of Louisiana. There, it took a conscious effort to keep my mouth closed. I couldnt help but marvel at what God had created. The swamps were vast, miles and miles wide. I nearly stopped on one of the bridges, just to praise God, you know. The roads were not so good but I had an eyeful of swamps, Indian rivers, amazing bridges and lakes. Missisippi was a hundred mile and I did that in no time, crossing into Alabama. This was where I started getting tired and all adventurous spirits flew out of the window. I wasnt sleepy just tired of talking to myself. To make matters worse, it got really dark at exactly 5pm and I couldnt really see and so I had to be driving at 50m/hr.It was ridiculous. I was about 70 miles away from the state of Georgia when I saw this big placard with ''LIONS" on it. I wanted to pee so bad but that strecht of the road was the wildest wilderness I had ever seen in my life. I nearly stopped to pee though but that big placard changed my mind. No use getting chased by a lion with my pants around my ankles. What would be the use of running from a lion anyway?
I got to Atlanta at 10pm, then couldnt get down from the car. My right ankle was messed up and there was this raging pain in my lower back, you know like how expectant mothers in labour scream about that part of the body? Ok hot shower, Tylenol, and vapor rub did the trick.I slept off dreaming about lions and swamps. When I woke up the next day, my nose wouldnt stop running and I knew there was something wrong. Neways I came down with the most furious 'flu I ever encountered. Each breath was painful to the grind. I hated to be helpless like that but I couldnt do a damn thing to help myself.I had no relief until I took ALABUKUN two days after the whole thing started. Now, the fever is gone but I am left with an irritating cough. I thank God that I am even blogging tonight because the way I felt two days ago eeehhn, I thought I was gonna recover next month.
Being ill and confined to bed really made me think about some stuffs.
Whoever said that women are difficult to please?????? Excuse me and pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I really had time to go over my youthful sojourn.
When I was 11 years old, all the boys in our neighborhood liked me and wanted me as a girlfriend because I could play soccer and was not afraid of getting dirty.
When I was 12, most of the boys did not like me because I could score more goals and outrun them in 100 meters race; I was the Red House Champion.
They suddenly liked me again when I sprouted boobs almost as big as my head and hated me immediately Pa stopped me from playing with them and I started wearing a bra.
The boys in high school liked me because I could dance and rap like them,knew all the lyrics of the songs by Naughty By Nature but they hated me because I wouldnt give out. Not even a kiss, Hell No!!
In college, the guys were crazy in lust and I didnt understand or see WHY!! Some said it was the daring attitude, some said it was my bouncy gait, some said it was the tomboyish thing..........yuck!! Well I have never seen myself as a male. I just do things my own way.
Halfway through college....some guys claimed it was my ability to take charge and take care of stuffs that drove them wild. One guy admitted to having a hard-on the day he saw me checking out the engine of a car. Some said it was the way I could jump start any car on campus or help a friend change a flat tyre. Now hold up....I did not study mechanical engineering in school, It was just the way Pa brought us up. Why would I pussy-foot around if I could do it myself??
Ok......I guess that was sexy to them right?? YUCK.
Now where do I get the feeling that men are actually scared of sharp girls?
You change tires...........you are a tomboy!
You wear decent clothes.............you are not sexy!
You are wild in bed.................you are a prostitute!
You dont think about marriage..............you are not focused!
You dont want sex....................you must be getting it somewhere else!
You want sex after marriage............you are old fashioned!
You dress like Beyonce.................you are trashy!
You wear Loreal........................you look like an Idian War Chief!
You wear french manicure...........that is why you can not cook!
You cook.........................and that is why he is getting fat!
You dare to be right............you are gonna be on your knees begging till daybreak!
You show some sexy moves..........you have started watching dirty movies without him!
You braid your hair..............it disturbs the sex!
You wear a low cut............."i love my woman with some hair"!
You are quiet..............you must be thinking of an ex!
You are talking..............you talk too much!
You make decisions............you have now become a man!
You are PMSing..........................you look like his grandmother!
You are smiling.....................you have a secret!
You are beautiful..............you are planning to run away with another man!
I can not go on o!
I KNOW THAT MEN ARE DIFFICULT TO PLEASE. Shikena
They do not have an idea of what they want!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Flight 96
I am on vacation. I guess you guys would be wondering about these vacations I take at the drop of a hat. I have a contract job so anytime I get fed up with things, I just drop everything and take a breather. In 2006 I worked non-stop for nine months before i took a vacation for one week. I didnt really enjoy myself because I was too tired to stay awake and tour the great city of New York. The only meaningful thing I did was to go on Broadway and watch The Producers, a great experience indeed. Ok, then went to the street mall at Furdham and spent all my life savings shopping for my nieces and nephew.My sisters were amazed but guess what, I didnt buy a single item for them. They didnt find that funny though.
I decided to travel on Christmas morning to the East Coast. I didnt wanna go through the hassels of organizing christmas lunches and dinners for the entire family so I bailed out, wanting to go where I would be a guest not the glorified caterer and maid rolled into one.
The airport was quiet and for a moment I thought the planes were grounded because of the weather. We boarded and took off on time. Half an hour into the flight, the Captain's voice came out loud and clear over the speakers informing us that we should remain seated at least for the next one hundred miles because there was gonna be so much turbulence. God knows I hate flying already, then this??? I tried to dose off to no avail. I increased the volume of the country music I was listening to, trying to block out the sounds made by the engines of the aircraft or better still block out the fact that I was thousands of miles above ground. Then it started. The shaking, the trembling and the slight dives.I was terrified.
I have a habit of studying the flight attendants. By their faces ye shall know your fate.I was really praying for mercy when I looked up and sighted one of the flight attendants walking down the aisle holding the compartments railing for support, shook her head sadly at her colleague at the end of the aisle. Now what was that???? Apparently I wasnt the only one who saw that gesture because a man suddenly shouted from behind me.
'' What the hell is going on'? The lady stopped short.
''Nothing' she said.
''Nothing my ass. I need to know what the hell is going on with this plane. A man gotta know if he's gonna die'' he shouted angrily. Passengers started getting excited and the flight attendant quickly made her way to the back of the aircraft. Kids started getting restless, people started getting up.
An elderly man got up and spoke in gentle tones telling everybody to be calm. Another guy got up, he had the longest ponytail I had ever seen on a man and he looked like a tatoo shop.
''Who the fuck do you think you are old man?'' he screamed. 'Do you think I wanna die? I wanna know what the fuck is wrong with this plane''
''Will you guys stop it? a lady with a screaming baby cried out over the bedlam.
People started cursing the airline and the twenty-something-year-olds planes they make people buy expensive tickets for. The flight attendants looked on. The frigging plane was still shaking and trembling.
''There is nothing wrong with the plane, its the weather''
''Fuck the weather''
''what kind of fucked up flight is this?
I knew it was the weather but I was too paralysed with fear to think straight. My whole body was trembling expecting the plane to nose dive any minute. There and then I knew I love life. I wanted to live and It was that thought that gave me strenght and focus to pray.
'' Father Lord, please have mercy. Have mercy on me. Please do not let me regret this trip. Father today is christmas and I can not die on a christmas day. Everybody in my family will go crazy if anything should happen to me, I plead the blood of Jesus on my body,my spirit and my soul''
I raised my voice as my trembling reduced. I could feel people turning to look at me. I prayed very loud and I could feel them going back to their seats one by one.In a short time, the passengers were all quiet. I prayed non-stop till we landed.
When I got to baggage claim, I sat down for half an hour before getting my bags. My legs were shaking so badly I could hardly walk. That flight was indeed fucked up. I thank God that we landed safely.
I decided to travel on Christmas morning to the East Coast. I didnt wanna go through the hassels of organizing christmas lunches and dinners for the entire family so I bailed out, wanting to go where I would be a guest not the glorified caterer and maid rolled into one.
The airport was quiet and for a moment I thought the planes were grounded because of the weather. We boarded and took off on time. Half an hour into the flight, the Captain's voice came out loud and clear over the speakers informing us that we should remain seated at least for the next one hundred miles because there was gonna be so much turbulence. God knows I hate flying already, then this??? I tried to dose off to no avail. I increased the volume of the country music I was listening to, trying to block out the sounds made by the engines of the aircraft or better still block out the fact that I was thousands of miles above ground. Then it started. The shaking, the trembling and the slight dives.I was terrified.
I have a habit of studying the flight attendants. By their faces ye shall know your fate.I was really praying for mercy when I looked up and sighted one of the flight attendants walking down the aisle holding the compartments railing for support, shook her head sadly at her colleague at the end of the aisle. Now what was that???? Apparently I wasnt the only one who saw that gesture because a man suddenly shouted from behind me.
'' What the hell is going on'? The lady stopped short.
''Nothing' she said.
''Nothing my ass. I need to know what the hell is going on with this plane. A man gotta know if he's gonna die'' he shouted angrily. Passengers started getting excited and the flight attendant quickly made her way to the back of the aircraft. Kids started getting restless, people started getting up.
An elderly man got up and spoke in gentle tones telling everybody to be calm. Another guy got up, he had the longest ponytail I had ever seen on a man and he looked like a tatoo shop.
''Who the fuck do you think you are old man?'' he screamed. 'Do you think I wanna die? I wanna know what the fuck is wrong with this plane''
''Will you guys stop it? a lady with a screaming baby cried out over the bedlam.
People started cursing the airline and the twenty-something-year-olds planes they make people buy expensive tickets for. The flight attendants looked on. The frigging plane was still shaking and trembling.
''There is nothing wrong with the plane, its the weather''
''Fuck the weather''
''what kind of fucked up flight is this?
I knew it was the weather but I was too paralysed with fear to think straight. My whole body was trembling expecting the plane to nose dive any minute. There and then I knew I love life. I wanted to live and It was that thought that gave me strenght and focus to pray.
'' Father Lord, please have mercy. Have mercy on me. Please do not let me regret this trip. Father today is christmas and I can not die on a christmas day. Everybody in my family will go crazy if anything should happen to me, I plead the blood of Jesus on my body,my spirit and my soul''
I raised my voice as my trembling reduced. I could feel people turning to look at me. I prayed very loud and I could feel them going back to their seats one by one.In a short time, the passengers were all quiet. I prayed non-stop till we landed.
When I got to baggage claim, I sat down for half an hour before getting my bags. My legs were shaking so badly I could hardly walk. That flight was indeed fucked up. I thank God that we landed safely.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Heavenly Blessings
Today was hectic. The weather was crazy, flunctuating between roasting everyone alive and turning people into cold slabs of meat. I never listen to the weather news anymore. The Almighty is not predictable neither is the weather he created for us mere mortals.The saying that goes'' We are nothing but pencil in the hands........,'' gets drummed into my head each time I step out of the house and look up into the skies. Texas weather is bloody unpredictable.
Mere mortals so are we. Mere mortals with propositions. The Almighty has given us the power of choice so they say but wouldnt it be great if we could walk up to that majestic throne and find out exactly what is expected of us in this crazy world.
Search......I keep searching for peace. Is it what I have to buy or seek for? Is it free or I have to spend money to get it? I really do not know. Loneliness has become a way of life. Boredom, a daily activity.
Work......I keep working for money. Yet, I am not fulfilled if I do not reach out to people around me.Some call me generous, some say I am wasteful but what is money if there is no joy? What are the riches if there is no one to share them with?
The way my heart is! Riches untapped. Riches untamed. So much wealth to give.So much love to offer.
As each day passes by, I look towards the Almighty's abode praying for His reaching hands. My heart is revealed and my hands are strechted out to receive His heavenly fruits.
I want a baby!!!
Mere mortals so are we. Mere mortals with propositions. The Almighty has given us the power of choice so they say but wouldnt it be great if we could walk up to that majestic throne and find out exactly what is expected of us in this crazy world.
Search......I keep searching for peace. Is it what I have to buy or seek for? Is it free or I have to spend money to get it? I really do not know. Loneliness has become a way of life. Boredom, a daily activity.
Work......I keep working for money. Yet, I am not fulfilled if I do not reach out to people around me.Some call me generous, some say I am wasteful but what is money if there is no joy? What are the riches if there is no one to share them with?
The way my heart is! Riches untapped. Riches untamed. So much wealth to give.So much love to offer.
As each day passes by, I look towards the Almighty's abode praying for His reaching hands. My heart is revealed and my hands are strechted out to receive His heavenly fruits.
I want a baby!!!
Friday, December 7, 2007
Lift To The Stars
I stalked out through the automatic doors, giving my boss a baleful look one more time. How we were going to round up sales before the tax season beat me. She was making everybody's life miserable. I grinned when I remembered how stunned she was when I announced I needed a smoke break. She knew I was not a smoker but she could kiss my ass. I marched quickly towards the elevators casting wary glances behind me. I did not want any of my colleagues to tag along. They were sure to ruin the air with nicotine.
I was tired, hungry and sleepy. I stepped into the elevator and as luck would have it, I saw nobody in need of a smoke break rushing to ride the elevator with me. I punched the basement button. I needed a nap badly and the best place to have it would be inside Sandra, my loyal Honda Accord.The elevator moved down from the ninth floor sluggishly. I frowned, now what the heck was wrong with this thing. It gave a jerk,lurched and came to an abrupt stop. No, No, Heck NO!! I waited two minutes, nothing.I punched the emergency buttons, praying with all my heart that those bloody leering security guards were paying attention, not off somewhere playing dominoes.
Five minutes, then the elevator gave a jerk and plunged!!! I screamed grabbing the railing in terror. Ohmigod!!!I never planned on ending my life like this; plummenting from the ninth floor of a thirty year old building in a demented elevator. I was sure the bloody thing hadnt given nobody warning signs. Why me???!!!! I held on for dear life expecting the crash in a second but it suddenly lurched to a stop and I landed on my back with my legs up in the air.My Boss is a Witch!!!! It trembled like a wet chicken then moved before coming to a rest. I peeked at the buttons.''G'' for Garage!! I scrambled up, punched the exit buttons in a frenzy. The doors swooshed open and I flew out, smack into a wall. My world reeled and I landed on my ass.
''Damn.Please pay attention,'' came the growl from somewhere above me. My eyes travelled from alligator shodded feet to blazing dark eyes underneath some bushy brows.
Now what a minute, I was supposed to be mad here. I got to my feet, thanking the Lord I had on some leather pants. What would have happened if I was in some nice short skirt? Mr Alligator Shoes would have had an unrestricted view of the solo grass plantation because I never wear knickers until that time of the month when my biological clock tick to remind me of my spinsterhood state.
I watched him as he strode into the death trap. He gave me another ''my cat wouldnt bother with you'' look before the elevators doors closed. I waited patiently. It wasnt long before I heard the screams and who ran out half crazed with fear? Mr Alligator Shoes!! I gave him a huge witchy grin before catwalking to Sandra. Good Ol Gal was waiting for me. I snuggled deep into the reclined seat as that naughty thought registered in my mind. That was one piece of delicious male flesh. All lean and hard. Dark smoky eyes, shaggy eyebrows and a height to die for. All arrogance and self-confidence.
I went back to the building half an hour later. I was alert after that much needed nap and I gave that elevator a wide berth, going to the front of the building to use the service elevator.I gave the security guy a nasty look before walking to the elevator.My butt still hurt.I punched the button and waited. The doors opened and I stepped inside only to come short a step. There, leaning against the wall was Mr Alligator Shoes. I waited, expecting him to get his butt off but he made no move towards the doors. I punched 9 and the doors closed. I felt uncomfortable immediately. All my senses rose into sharp focus and I could feel my pulse racing off. His scent enveloped me and the hair at the back of my neck rose sharply.My heart nearly stopped when he came to stand directly behind me.
His breath fanned the back of my neck and hot fingers of desire and lust raced down my spine.His arms snaked around my waist and turned me to face him. When he looked down into my eys, I got lost in the dark hot pools of his eyes. Then our lips met, tentatively then hungrily. We kissed like crazy, both of us exploring each other deeply. His breath tasted sweetly of expensive tobacco and I went all giddy on it. We were alone in our world, our strange world of lust and desire.
We were brought down to earth abruptly by some noise. It came from my boss clearing her throat, looking into the elevator with disapproving eyes.We were already at the ninth floor. I tore myself away from the stranger's arms and escaped. Now what on earth happened back there? I dared not look back. I raced into the office all breathless. My colleagues gave me concerned looks but I ignored them and rushed into the rest room. I stared in shock at my reflection. My lips were tenderly swollen, my hair was tussled and the first button on my shirt was opened revealing a red lacy cup. DANM!!
I avoided my boss throughtout the day. I kept smiling to myself and my best friend finally gave me the finger at the end of the day.
I was tired, hungry and sleepy. I stepped into the elevator and as luck would have it, I saw nobody in need of a smoke break rushing to ride the elevator with me. I punched the basement button. I needed a nap badly and the best place to have it would be inside Sandra, my loyal Honda Accord.The elevator moved down from the ninth floor sluggishly. I frowned, now what the heck was wrong with this thing. It gave a jerk,lurched and came to an abrupt stop. No, No, Heck NO!! I waited two minutes, nothing.I punched the emergency buttons, praying with all my heart that those bloody leering security guards were paying attention, not off somewhere playing dominoes.
Five minutes, then the elevator gave a jerk and plunged!!! I screamed grabbing the railing in terror. Ohmigod!!!I never planned on ending my life like this; plummenting from the ninth floor of a thirty year old building in a demented elevator. I was sure the bloody thing hadnt given nobody warning signs. Why me???!!!! I held on for dear life expecting the crash in a second but it suddenly lurched to a stop and I landed on my back with my legs up in the air.My Boss is a Witch!!!! It trembled like a wet chicken then moved before coming to a rest. I peeked at the buttons.''G'' for Garage!! I scrambled up, punched the exit buttons in a frenzy. The doors swooshed open and I flew out, smack into a wall. My world reeled and I landed on my ass.
''Damn.Please pay attention,'' came the growl from somewhere above me. My eyes travelled from alligator shodded feet to blazing dark eyes underneath some bushy brows.
Now what a minute, I was supposed to be mad here. I got to my feet, thanking the Lord I had on some leather pants. What would have happened if I was in some nice short skirt? Mr Alligator Shoes would have had an unrestricted view of the solo grass plantation because I never wear knickers until that time of the month when my biological clock tick to remind me of my spinsterhood state.
I watched him as he strode into the death trap. He gave me another ''my cat wouldnt bother with you'' look before the elevators doors closed. I waited patiently. It wasnt long before I heard the screams and who ran out half crazed with fear? Mr Alligator Shoes!! I gave him a huge witchy grin before catwalking to Sandra. Good Ol Gal was waiting for me. I snuggled deep into the reclined seat as that naughty thought registered in my mind. That was one piece of delicious male flesh. All lean and hard. Dark smoky eyes, shaggy eyebrows and a height to die for. All arrogance and self-confidence.
I went back to the building half an hour later. I was alert after that much needed nap and I gave that elevator a wide berth, going to the front of the building to use the service elevator.I gave the security guy a nasty look before walking to the elevator.My butt still hurt.I punched the button and waited. The doors opened and I stepped inside only to come short a step. There, leaning against the wall was Mr Alligator Shoes. I waited, expecting him to get his butt off but he made no move towards the doors. I punched 9 and the doors closed. I felt uncomfortable immediately. All my senses rose into sharp focus and I could feel my pulse racing off. His scent enveloped me and the hair at the back of my neck rose sharply.My heart nearly stopped when he came to stand directly behind me.
His breath fanned the back of my neck and hot fingers of desire and lust raced down my spine.His arms snaked around my waist and turned me to face him. When he looked down into my eys, I got lost in the dark hot pools of his eyes. Then our lips met, tentatively then hungrily. We kissed like crazy, both of us exploring each other deeply. His breath tasted sweetly of expensive tobacco and I went all giddy on it. We were alone in our world, our strange world of lust and desire.
We were brought down to earth abruptly by some noise. It came from my boss clearing her throat, looking into the elevator with disapproving eyes.We were already at the ninth floor. I tore myself away from the stranger's arms and escaped. Now what on earth happened back there? I dared not look back. I raced into the office all breathless. My colleagues gave me concerned looks but I ignored them and rushed into the rest room. I stared in shock at my reflection. My lips were tenderly swollen, my hair was tussled and the first button on my shirt was opened revealing a red lacy cup. DANM!!
I avoided my boss throughtout the day. I kept smiling to myself and my best friend finally gave me the finger at the end of the day.
Friday, November 30, 2007
My Boo
I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour, scrubbing and scrubbing away. My sister was knocking hard on the door, yelling at me to get out of there.I simply ignored her. It was common practise that we all took a shower each night before going to bed, so what was her problem? Well, I was not going to jump into bed after the shower because I had plans for the night.I heaved a sigh of relief when my skin tingled. I was as clean as a whistle. I just had to get rid of the day sweat. It had been a long day.
I came out of the bathroom and managed to escape my sister's scornful look.It was none of her business. Fine, I took too long but I needed to be all clean and sweet swelling. I had a date with my Boo.I looked through my closet and nothing of interest caught my eyes, then I went towards my mum's room. There was sure to be something pretty and significant there. It took me just two minutes to find it. Whao!!! It was the white Fulani attire that my aunt had brought for us from Sokoto. The multicolored blouse was just perfect with the white woolen wrapper. The blouse was short, midriff lenght and the wrapper was long, though low riding on the hips. It was perfect for my outing.
I dusted my mum's talcum powder all over and wore the Fulani get-up. My aunt had taught us how to tie the wrapper on her last visit.I glanced at myself in the mirror and grinned. He would be knocked off his rockers. I grabbed a string of beads and wound it around my head. Another one went around my neck. There was something missing. Oh Ok! Make-Up!! I did a little magic and there I was, fully made up like a Fulani chick. I wish I had a calabash, that would complete the picture.
I catwalked into the living room in my flat Fulani slippers.Pa had some guests and they were engrossed in whatever they were discussing. I announced to Pa that I was going out but he paid me no mind so I shrugged, turned sharply and headed towards the front door. Something must have registered at the last minute because he suddenly called my name.I stopped, I was just about to close the doors behind me. I heaved a long-suffering sigh.
I walked towards him and all conversations stopped abruptly.
'' Now where in the world are you going, young lady'' Pa asked.
''....but I told you before'' I started but stopped at his frown. I rolled my eyes.
'' I am going to see my boyfriend'' I announced again, making sure to raise my voice this time.
Pa looked astounded and one of the gentlemen roared with laughter and I rolled my eyes at him. Hiss. What was the big deal about that? I glanced at Pa, he was smiling. He nodded and I turned and catwalked out. I paused when I heard the laughter. Surely they were not laughing at me?
I walked towards Boo's house. He lived just down the street. His mum was outside, rocking a baby. I greeted her and asked for Boo.She called him. My heart raced when I saw his lovely face again. It had just been hours that we last saw each other but to me it felt like days. Boo came to an abrupt halt when he saw me,then he turned and hightailed it away like I was the plague or the ten commandments. Like I was a masquerade or something.Tears pooled in my eyes but I was not going to give up without a fight. I wiped my face clean of the tears, then I started yelling so loud the baby threw a fit.
''Boo, whether you like it or not, I am your girlfriend. If you like, run away, do you hear? I told you this morning and I am telling you right now. I will tell you tomorrow o ehn ehn. You better listen now o. I will tell everybody o, okay.''
I didnt even bother to talk to his mum, I just walked back to my house with tears streaming down my face. Pa was still right where I left him and his friends. He stopped talking when he saw how upset I was.
'' what happened?'' he demanded
''Boo ran away'' I explained between hiccups. Everybody went ''Aaaaaaawwwwwwwwww''
''Dont mind him, Princess. He was just scared. He will apologise tomorrow.You will see'' Pa assured me. I nodded and went to my parents' room then the laughter started again. Now what in the world was so funny?
My mind drifted as I planned on making Boo crawl on his knees tomorrow at the kindegarten school. Why in the world was he scared of me? He was older than me if anything, taller and quite bigger. He was six years old and I was just crawling up to five. maybe all I needed to do now was to kiss him when we get to the playing pen. That would scare all the other girls away. I loved Boo with all my heart and I had told my kindergarten teacher as much. He was mine and I had every intention to posses him. Tomorrow, I would go and play with his baby sister. Or did he want me to be five or six years old before letting the world know of our love? Why was Pa's friend laughing like that? Was it my fulani dress or my beads? Neways I was looking forward to seeing Boo tomorrow.
I came out of the bathroom and managed to escape my sister's scornful look.It was none of her business. Fine, I took too long but I needed to be all clean and sweet swelling. I had a date with my Boo.I looked through my closet and nothing of interest caught my eyes, then I went towards my mum's room. There was sure to be something pretty and significant there. It took me just two minutes to find it. Whao!!! It was the white Fulani attire that my aunt had brought for us from Sokoto. The multicolored blouse was just perfect with the white woolen wrapper. The blouse was short, midriff lenght and the wrapper was long, though low riding on the hips. It was perfect for my outing.
I dusted my mum's talcum powder all over and wore the Fulani get-up. My aunt had taught us how to tie the wrapper on her last visit.I glanced at myself in the mirror and grinned. He would be knocked off his rockers. I grabbed a string of beads and wound it around my head. Another one went around my neck. There was something missing. Oh Ok! Make-Up!! I did a little magic and there I was, fully made up like a Fulani chick. I wish I had a calabash, that would complete the picture.
I catwalked into the living room in my flat Fulani slippers.Pa had some guests and they were engrossed in whatever they were discussing. I announced to Pa that I was going out but he paid me no mind so I shrugged, turned sharply and headed towards the front door. Something must have registered at the last minute because he suddenly called my name.I stopped, I was just about to close the doors behind me. I heaved a long-suffering sigh.
I walked towards him and all conversations stopped abruptly.
'' Now where in the world are you going, young lady'' Pa asked.
''....but I told you before'' I started but stopped at his frown. I rolled my eyes.
'' I am going to see my boyfriend'' I announced again, making sure to raise my voice this time.
Pa looked astounded and one of the gentlemen roared with laughter and I rolled my eyes at him. Hiss. What was the big deal about that? I glanced at Pa, he was smiling. He nodded and I turned and catwalked out. I paused when I heard the laughter. Surely they were not laughing at me?
I walked towards Boo's house. He lived just down the street. His mum was outside, rocking a baby. I greeted her and asked for Boo.She called him. My heart raced when I saw his lovely face again. It had just been hours that we last saw each other but to me it felt like days. Boo came to an abrupt halt when he saw me,then he turned and hightailed it away like I was the plague or the ten commandments. Like I was a masquerade or something.Tears pooled in my eyes but I was not going to give up without a fight. I wiped my face clean of the tears, then I started yelling so loud the baby threw a fit.
''Boo, whether you like it or not, I am your girlfriend. If you like, run away, do you hear? I told you this morning and I am telling you right now. I will tell you tomorrow o ehn ehn. You better listen now o. I will tell everybody o, okay.''
I didnt even bother to talk to his mum, I just walked back to my house with tears streaming down my face. Pa was still right where I left him and his friends. He stopped talking when he saw how upset I was.
'' what happened?'' he demanded
''Boo ran away'' I explained between hiccups. Everybody went ''Aaaaaaawwwwwwwwww''
''Dont mind him, Princess. He was just scared. He will apologise tomorrow.You will see'' Pa assured me. I nodded and went to my parents' room then the laughter started again. Now what in the world was so funny?
My mind drifted as I planned on making Boo crawl on his knees tomorrow at the kindegarten school. Why in the world was he scared of me? He was older than me if anything, taller and quite bigger. He was six years old and I was just crawling up to five. maybe all I needed to do now was to kiss him when we get to the playing pen. That would scare all the other girls away. I loved Boo with all my heart and I had told my kindergarten teacher as much. He was mine and I had every intention to posses him. Tomorrow, I would go and play with his baby sister. Or did he want me to be five or six years old before letting the world know of our love? Why was Pa's friend laughing like that? Was it my fulani dress or my beads? Neways I was looking forward to seeing Boo tomorrow.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Miracles
Miracle don happen!!!! LOL.
I woke up two days ago feeling like I was floating on a cushion of light textured clouds. I enforced a one week vacation on my honourable self two weeks ago. The holy book became a constant companion in my sojourn to find the real me. I was like a dry fountain thirsty for the dancing rivers. My heart was opened, my mind was laid bare and I was able to dance to the rhythm of my ancestors.
I wouldnt call it the bata beat because that would indicate the herald of Shango, the thunder king and I am a great respecter of tradition. That would be taking it too far. It was an ancient rhythm, one I have longed for, for months. The call of nature, my wildest dream.
I woke up feeling strange. my body was relaxed, my mind was clear and I could almost hear my heart ticking away. I paused, not sure if I had woken up in my own body. I looked around and it was that curvaceous body. It was Yayi's body. I threw my head back and laughed. It was a sound that would make heavenly maidens dance in their mothers' wombs. It was a laughter filled with a woman's confidence.
I could feel the butterflies!!!! They floated in hundreds, cold yet hot.
I answerd to the call of nature for in my belly was a fierce passion yearning for be fulfilled.
Right now, I am like a walking or driving time bomb. Please beware!!
I woke up two days ago feeling like I was floating on a cushion of light textured clouds. I enforced a one week vacation on my honourable self two weeks ago. The holy book became a constant companion in my sojourn to find the real me. I was like a dry fountain thirsty for the dancing rivers. My heart was opened, my mind was laid bare and I was able to dance to the rhythm of my ancestors.
I wouldnt call it the bata beat because that would indicate the herald of Shango, the thunder king and I am a great respecter of tradition. That would be taking it too far. It was an ancient rhythm, one I have longed for, for months. The call of nature, my wildest dream.
I woke up feeling strange. my body was relaxed, my mind was clear and I could almost hear my heart ticking away. I paused, not sure if I had woken up in my own body. I looked around and it was that curvaceous body. It was Yayi's body. I threw my head back and laughed. It was a sound that would make heavenly maidens dance in their mothers' wombs. It was a laughter filled with a woman's confidence.
I could feel the butterflies!!!! They floated in hundreds, cold yet hot.
I answerd to the call of nature for in my belly was a fierce passion yearning for be fulfilled.
Right now, I am like a walking or driving time bomb. Please beware!!
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