Wednesday, October 31, 2007

NEPA

In the late 80s, there was this peculiar style of armed robbery dominating the city I lived in. Well dressed ladies would come to your house, asking for the woman of the house and in all innocence, a hospitable child might throw open the doors inviting them in. The leader brings out a gun and waves it, robbing the house blind of jewelries and money. Well dressed men too would come saying your daddy supposedly asked them to get an important document from the house. Kids repeatedly fell for these tricks, the robberies were usually carried out during school vacations. The robbers knew kids would likely be home alone and normally, naija kids are nice and curious. Sometimes they used the NEPA and NITEL tricks. Posing as NEPA technicians trying to check out the meters or NITEL technicians trying to check out the connection. A lot of household were victims of these people, courtesy of their young kids throwing doors open in hospitable spirits.


So Pa really warned us about opening doors to strangers. We could go outside the yard to play but no talking to strangers. He used to call from his office daily checking on us, reminding us that he hadnt sent nobody to clean the house, cut the grass or pick up documents. During the summer vacation my cousins were with us and the homestead was filled to the brim. We were all outside the yard, actually we were all playing on the streets when we heard the roar of a motor vehicle. We all froze, where the heck did that noise come from? Suddenly, the roaring machine came around the corner with screaming breaks. There in full glare was a brown pick-up truck with NEPA boldly printed on its side.What was most scary was the men on the truck bed, they were holding on to a very long ladder

We scattered in different directions. Not that we havent seen NEPA guys before but it had been sometime that they had come to our street and they were so scary in the brown khaki overalls and giant belts and they were like ten in number.We all made it into the yard and I locked the gates in a frenzy. My heart was in my mouth, surely they were not the real NEPA guys, they were sure to be the people Pa warned us about. My eldest cousin helped me to barricade the front doors. By the time we were doing this, I could hear the men alight from the truck. Right in front of the homestead!!!! I directed my cousins to different hiding places ordering them to be quiet. In a minute you could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly there was a loud rattling at the gates, they were there!!! Though we had a NEPA file we kept for this purpose but in no way was I coming out, when they could be armed robbers, no way!!
'' Come out, we know you are in there", one of them shouted, then I knew I had to do something to protect the homestead, my cousins and the family heirlooms. I crept towards my father's room and grabbed the double barrel.No way was I gonna let those thieves harm us and cart our stuffs away and I wasnt gonna get gagged and strussed up like a chicken. I signaled to my eldest cousin and we moved the barricade behind the front door and crept outside. I looked around the pillar and right there was a man climbing the ladder leaning against the electric pole.

I knew we were done for, he was gonna jump into our yard from the ladder. I moved a little away from the pillar and aimed the double barell at him. He didnt look down because he was busy climbing. I whistled as low as I could and he looked down. He froze and let out a blood chilling scream, grabbing the pole in horror. The guys that were standing by the gates laughed out loud thinking he was mildly electrocuted. He screamed No!!! He hurriedly climbed down, with me still having him in the nuzzle of the double barrel and muttered curses.
'' She wan kill me'' he cried out to his fellow thieves.
'' who wan kill you? abeg go and disconnect the thing. if they no go allow us inside to read the meter and check the bill then we must disconnect''
The other men laughed and moved on to the next house. That was when it dawned on me that they were real NEPA technicians. I was in big trouble but I comforted myself with the thought that he alone saw me, he couldnt prove it and I would deny it. Meen....I thought they were armed robbers.


I thought they were all gone then I stepped away from the pillar only for the man who climbed the ladder to jump out from around the gates and scream,
''Na u, na u wan kill me...aaaaawwwwwwwwwww wetin I do you? Na u , na u dem send to me o. Chineke mei, Na God go punish you o. I go report you o.'
I dashed back into the house locking the front doors again. I was trembling. I returned the double barrel to its place and everything went quiet once more. After sometime, I heard the other men asking him why he wasnt on the pole, disconnecting. I guess one of them must have climbed up there because our electricity suddenly went out and I could hear them tossing the cables into the yard. Well, Well, Well!!! I had gone and done it this time. Why wasnt I bold enough to bring out the NEPA file even if I wasnt gonna allow them in to read the meter. See me see trouble o.

When Mum got home, she demanded to know why we got disconnected and I just had to open up and tell her what I did to the poor guy.She just shook her head at me. When Pa got home, she told him. I was petrified. Pa asked me to go on a walk with him and gave me a lecture about the dangers of aiming guns at people even if they are not loaded.It might turn out to be a police case but he would handle it. He made me promise never to do that again unless I was really sure we were being attacked. Everybody was suprised to see me in one shape when we got back from the walk. I guess Pa spoiled me a little sha.

Our electricity supply got restored that night after Pa paid a visit to the NEPA office. I saw him grab two big bottles of wine when he was going over there and he asked me to saty out of sight if they came back that night to reconnect. He didnt want the guy seeing me and getting all upset again. Whoa, the things I did!!

7 comments:

Allied said...

Wow!! Chei, you have Lived oh. What age were you that you carried gun? Its good your dad did not do anything. Sometimes, all we need is to talk to our children not hit them.

anonymous gal(retired blogger) said...

WTFLIP. secertly im sure your dad was proud.

Bubbles said...

LOL!!! You were one crazy chic and very brave too! I like that.

Naapali said...

The things you did, indeed.

Initium said...

Girl, you were outrageous! Thank God for preserving you through all the adventures with guns and gear boxes (read your last two posts)! The things you did...!

Allied said...

Update, update!!!!!

rethots said...

Laff or not, i know not but, that's daring.